Once and Again
by goneofftodream
Summary: Ashley Davies, a star athlete, suffers a tragic event that took away the life of the person that she was 'in love' with. She dedicates herself to the sport's field and confides in the one person that will change her life. Spashley story!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! back with a new story! I thought that I might give this story a little twist, but you all know what's going to happen in the end. I really enjoyed writing this story, Im also done with it. Thinking about writing a sequel, but I know that it's really considering that I'm just posting the first Chapter. **

**Anyways the plot of this story is that Ashley is a star athlete, and she was in love Madison. But Madison passes away, and the Davies family moves to a small town in Ohio. Spencer is the Ashley's next door neighbor, and that is how they will first meet. This story does take a little bit of a military twist halfwayish, but not a lot, just some talk. Ashley is unsure of her feelings for Spencer and vise versa.**

**Oh one more thing, everything that is in _Italics _is a flashback or song. I hope you all enjoy it. Review and let me know what you think! :)**

**Chapter 1:**

I watched as the sight of my house got smaller and smaller. I couldn't believe that our mother was making us move. I've lived there my whole life and now everything that I loved was now gone. My girlfriend was gone, my friends were gone…everything was gone all I had now was...the path in front of me.

"Ashwly?" I heard my baby brother say from the back seat.

"What's up Sid?"

"Where mommy?"

"Mommy's right in front of us," I said pointing to the car I was following.

"Why are we leawing?"

"Mommy's doing this for us bud."

"But I don't wanna leawe," he whimpered.

"Me neither…me neither."

We drove for three days before we pulled into our new house. It was bigger than I had imagined. Two stories with a small story on top; there was a swimming pool in the back. I set my brother down and he ran around the house looking in every room.

"Ashley?" I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah…" I replied trying to take in the sight before me.

"I thought you might like the room upstairs," she said pointing to the stairs. I nodded before heading up the stairs.

There was a door at the end of the hallway that had stairs leading up. The room felt like a small apartment. There was a spacious bedroom and bathroom. A balcony was built next to the window, it looked out onto the backyard and the next-door neighbors.

The honking of the horn signaled that moving truck had arrived. I wandered my way downstairs. My mother was unloading some boxes when I got downstairs. My brother was trying to carry a box, but completely failing. I grabbed the box and set it down on the table, before heading back outside. I found my boxes and started to carry them upstairs.

Within the hour I had carried up all the boxes and all the furniture except for the bed. My mother and brother had gone out to get something to eat and do some shopping, leaving me alone in the house. It was nice to be alone, considering they haven't left me alone since the accident.

"Need some help?" I heard someone's voice say. I peered around trying to figure out who said it, when my eyes landed on a beautiful blond standing in front of me.

"um…" was the only word that I was able to formulate.

"Sorry, it just look you needed some help getting that into the house," she said point at the bed. I laugh at myself a little bit as I nodded for her to help. We were able to guide the pieces of my bed into my room.

"Spencer, I live next door," she said holding out a hand.

"Ashley," I said giving her a firm handshake.

"So you're new around here?"

"Yeah, just moved here from California."

"California. Why would you leave a beautiful place like that to come to this small town in Ohio?"

"If only I knew," I replied sitting in a chair next to my boxes.

"Are you attending Westbank or King?"

"King, you?"

"King," she replied. I could feel my lips curl into a smile.

"Well I better get going," she said, "I'll see you around." I walked her out and waved goodbye as my mom pulled up into the driveway.

"Making new friends already," she smiled at me. I just shrugged and helped her with the groceries.

We finished dinner and went on our separate ways. My mother finished unloading the boxes and Sid was in the living watching TV.

I sat on the floor as I stared at the box in front of me, the box that I had to unpack. I gently peeled back the tape and lift the cardboard sides open. My hands grasped the soft material inside as I pulled out a sweater with the word Duarte printed on the back. I held it up to my nose; I could still smell her. Tears began to stream down my face as I continued to unpack the rest of the items. The last item into there was a picture of Madison and I on the beach. It was the last time that I saw her face so full of happiness.

I wiped the tears away as I lay swinging from the hammock I had set up on the balcony.

_"__Ashley thanks for coming tonight."_

_"__I wouldn't have missed it for the world," I said leaning over and capturing Madison's lips in mine. She was my world, my everything. _

_"__You know that we have to face my parents now, and they didn't look happy when you kissed me in front of everyone."_

_"__It was time, Madison. We've been seeing each other for three years. I think it was time we told them."_

_"__I love you Ashley," she said kiss my hand. _

_"__I love you too Madison." I felt car veering off the road. I heard a scream and a tightening around my hand before everything went black._

"I miss you Madison," I whispered into the sky. I heard the slight tapping on the glass. My mother stood there standing next to the balcony door.

"I miss her so much," I cried out. My mother's arms wrapped around me as her engulfed me in a warm hand.

"I know sweetie," she said calming me, "she's in a better place, you know that."

"I know," I shuddered out. We sat there for a while, until Sid came up wanting to be tucked into bed. He was my anchor since everything happened. He's always been there for me. If I need to cry, I always have his shoulder. If I need to talk, I always have if his, even if he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"Night Ashlwy!" he said giving me a hug before following my mother out.

"Get some rest; school starts tomorrow, and you have tryouts today," she said before closing the door.

I showered and changed into PJ's before tidying up the room. I folded all the cardboard boxes and stack them in a corner. I stuffed my clothes into the dresser and hung up the others in the closet. I found a set of tools and began to put my bed back together. I hauled the mattress onto the bed frame before collapsing on it and pulling the blanket over me. I stared at the picture of Madison and I before I felt sleep beginning to take over.

I shot up at the sound of my alarm ringing and was then blinded by the light pouring into my room. I rolled off the bed and got into the shower. The warm was slowly waking me up. I could hear Sid and my mother laughing from downstairs. I pulled on a jean shorts and blue v-neck before grabbing my backpack and sports bag.

When I got downstairs, my mother and a plate of pancakes greeted me. Sid was munching happily on his over-syruped pancakes. I gobbled down my pancakes before leaving. I threw my bags into the car before following the direction my mother had given me to the school. The directions were relatively easy to follow and I arrived at the school ten minutes later.

I sat outside the office as I waited for them to call me in. My eyes wandered around the school. Banners hung in the hallways, 'King High Knights'.

"Ashley Davies," I heard the secretary call my name. I walked into the office.

"Hi," I said leaning against the counter. I watched as she ruffled through some papers before handing me one. I glanced down at it. 1. English 2. Calculus 3. Gym 4. Lunch 5. Physics.

"I was wondering about sport tryouts," I said to the secretary.

"What sport dear?"

"Lacrosse."

"Oh yes. Alright," she said handing me a handout, "you'll need to meet with the coach today. You have some time you could meet with him this morning. Practice is on the lower field at three." She pointed out where I could find Coach Carlin.

I knocked on Coach Carlin's door after getting lost four times.

"Come in," I heard a soft voice.

"Hello," I said quietly standing in front young man no older than 25.

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

"I wanted to try out for the lacrosse team."

"Excellent. What's your name?"

"Ashley Davies."

"Davies…I've seen you're name before," he said, "Where are you from?"

"California," I replied.

"You're that girl who was the youngest ever to play in the world championship weren't you?"

"That's me," I said scratching the back of my neck.

"Wow, well I would put you on the team immediately, but school rules require tryouts."

"I understand. I just wanted to let you know that I was trying out."

"I can't wait to see you out on the field."

The rest of the day went by pretty fast. I found my way to my Physics class with only some minor complication. I took a seat in the back of the class as I watched the students filled into the classroom. My eyes widened as I saw Spencer walk into the classroom surrounded by a group of friends.

"Alright class, settle down. I know that this is the last class of the day, but that doesn't mean that you can slack in this class," she said peering over her rimmed glasses. She started taking attendance. I familiarized myself with the girls sitting with Spencer. Carmen, Stephanie, and Heather.

"I'm going to assign you lab partners that you will have for the rest of the semester." She started calling out names and pointing at the lab tables around the room where they were to sit.

"Spencer and Ashley, you'll be at that table," she said pointing at the last available lab table. I gathered my belongings and took and seat opposite Spencer. The teacher gave us the last ten minutes to get to know each other.

"So…how was your first day?" Spencer asked.

"Okay, I'm still working on not getting lost, but other than that okay."

"Yeah that was me on my first day. My brothers weren't any help either."

"Brothers?" I questioned.

"Yeah Glen and Clay," she responded, "what about you? Do you have any siblings?"

"I have a little brother Sid," I replied.

"I think I saw him this morning running around outside," she laughed.

"You probably did. I don't know where the kid gets his energy."

I heard the bell ring signaling the end of the day. I followed Spencer out of the classroom.

"Spencer," I said. She turned to face me. "Where can I find the lower fields?"

"Trying out for lacrosse?"

"Yeah."

"Follow me," she said walking towards the doors.

I grabbed my bag from my locker. There were only a few lockers between hers and mine. I followed her towards the locker room. This school was a lot different than the ones at my old school. Each sport had its own locker; there was one for basketball, field hockey/hockey, and soccer. I walked into the locker and there were individual boxes for each player. Spencer motioned to the empty box next to hers.

The locker room started to flood with about twenty other girls. I changed quickly. I caught of glimpse of Spencer and I couldn't take my eyes off her perfectly toned body and her perfect curves.

We filled out onto the fields as the school clock struck three. Coach Carlin was standing in front of us giving us the whole tryout lecture and school rules and what not. He walked down the line and asked the positions were wanted to play.

"Davies, center I presume," he said giving me a smile.

"Yes coach, but I can play whatever you need me to play."

After he finished asking the players what they were trying out for he broke us off into groups by positions. I was paired with the only other center tryout player. From the start, she hated me.

"You better watch out new girl! Center place is mine!" Carmen spat at me and shoved me to the ground. You would never have guessed such an innocent friend of Spencer's could be so vicious.

"Alright girls I want you to count off by twos. Ones put on pennies and take the left side of the field." Carmen and I waited until the rest of the players had counted off, before the coach put us on different teams.

Spencer was on my right as my attack wing. I felt oddly confident in her presences. Coach Carlin blew his whistle and game began. I managed to capture and began running down the field leaving Carmen dumb struck. I flew down the field and within the first minute I had scored a goal. The other team had their mouths hanging open in shock. Yeah baby world champion here, of course only Coach Carlin knew that.

Tryouts went on for another hour. The highlight was that Carmen has nothing on me. I just grabbed the spot from under her feet. We finished tryouts with an ab workout. By the end they hurt; Coach Carlin had to give half the girls a hand getting up.

"Great tryouts today girls, I'll see you tomorrow morning at five for the last day," Coach said.

We hobbled back to the locker room. Some of the girls showered but I decided against showering in the gross locker room showers. I quickly changed into a t-shirt and shorts.

"You were great out there," I heard someone say. I turned around and saw a girl walking behind me. She was a little shorter than me with raven hair.

"Thanks. You looked pretty good too. Ashley," I said extending a hand.

"Emily," she replied shaking my hand with a smile on her face.

"You're in English class right?" I asked.

"Yeah I seat a few seat in front of you," she replied, "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"See you tomorrow," I said waving to the car as she walked towards the parking lot.

I walked to my car and threw my bag in the back. I opened the driver side door, but it was slammed shut by, not other than, Carmen.

"What do you think you are doing?" she asked me angrily.

"Going home," I said opening the door.

"There's only one spot for center and it's going to be me," she spat in my face

"Earn it," I spat back.

"You better watch yourself Davies. I wouldn't want to see you get hurt," she said before walking off. Did she just threaten me?

I drove home slowly. My legs were sore and everything hurt. I pulled into my driveway and gently got out of the car. I was about to open the door when I heard my name being called. I turned around and saw Spencer walking towards me.

"Hey," I replied softly setting down my bags.

"Hey," she replied, "you were great out there."

"Thanks."

"Where did you learn to play like that?"

"A friend of mine," I said taking a seat gingerly on one of the steps.

"Sore?" she questioned.

"You have no idea. How are you not sore?"

"I started practicing a week before," she said sitting down next to me, "you'll probably be sore for the next few days."

"Great just what I need," I groaned.

"Stretch before you go to bed; I find that it helps a lot."

"Why are we having early tryouts tomorrow?"

"All teams are required to have their rosters out by tomorrow. This usually doesn't happen but the fields were under maintenance for a while."

"Gotcha. So you're friends with Carmen?" I asked curiously.

"Not really. We use to until freshman lacrosse. She got really competitive," Spencer said. Something was off about the way she said that.

"Yeah! I kind of figure that out myself."

"Just be careful okay," Spencer said, "she can get aggressive."

"I will," I replied.

"I'll see you tomorrow bright and early," she said smiling back at me before leaving. I walked into the house and put my bags up in my room. My mother was in the living room with Sid watching a movie.

"Diner's in the microwave," she shouted from the living room. I opened the microwave and found a bowl of pasta. I brought the food up to my room and began my homework.

I took and quick shower and then spent a good ten minutes stretching out my muscles before going to bed. I hope Spencer was right.

**Thanks for reading! Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys thanks for the reviews , am glad that you like my story. Anyways here is the next chapter, I hope you like it! Review and tell me what you think!**

I slammed my hand down on the alarm. It took a great deal of effort to roll myself out of bed. I quickly changed into shorts and a jersey before running downstairs and grabbed a banana. When I got outside I noticed that Spencer's car was already gone. I glanced down at my watch; it was only 4:40.

Spencer's car was already in the parking lot when I got to the school. I dropped my bags off in the locker and headed towards the field. I saw Spencer on the field with Coach and they were sharing a laugh. When I got closer Coach noticed me and beckoned me to come forward.

"Ashley. Good to see you made it in one piece," coach laugh.

"Yeah Spencer gave me a little advice," I replied pointing my stick at Spencer.

"Great to here. My sis always was the best advice giver," he replied as he started to set up cones. My eyes widened as I connected two and two. But Coach didn't look like Spencer, he skin was darker and his hair was black and frizzy. I think Spencer connected two and two because she pulled her brother back in front of me.

"This is my brother Clay; the nice one," she said introducing us.

"Um…hi Coach Clay Carlin," I said awkwardly. He nodded and went back to setting up the cones.

"His adopted," Spencer said.

"Yeah I didn't make that connection until now. Wow I feel stupid," I said taking a seat on the bleachers.

"Don't be. People do it all the time," she replied taking the seat next to mine.

"Ashley," I heard Coach call from the field. I hopped off the bleacher and jogged over to him.

"I just want to let you'll be playing center position this season. Congratulations."

"Thanks Coach, but what about Carmen?"

"Tough luck. You have to earn it, and she didn't. To be honest I've been trying to find a replacement," he said, "This is between the two of us for now okay?" I nodded and thanked him once again before joining Spencer back on the bleachers.

We waited for the rest of the players to show up. The sun didn't come up until halfway through the tryouts. Coach was really working us hard today. We did suicides, two on two, scoring, drills and more drills. Surprisingly I wasn't as tired as most of the other girls trying out. We split up into the groups from yesterday and spent the last hour in a scrimmage. Carmen was making my life a living hell at the moment.

"Watch yourself Davies," she said and I knelt near the ball. I glanced at her before taking the ball from her and running down the field. Score. On the second start I wasn't ready for Carmen's retaliation. I felt the end of her stick collide with my facemask knocking it off.

"Carmen!" I heard Coach yell, "Get off the field!"

"Why she was the one who ran into me!" Carmen yelled back.

"Why the fuck would I want to run into you!" I said getting up and grabbing my mask.

"Carmen! My office now!" Coach yelled. This time Carmen obeyed and followed him.

"Spencer you're in charge," he said before pulling Carmen into the building. Spencer sent everyone out to run the church loop. I took at a seat on the bleachers. My head was pounding.

"Oh my god," I heard Spencer say.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked confused.

"You're bleeding," she said. I reached up and felt the warm sticky blood coming from a cut above my eyebrow. I felt her grab my arm and pull me towards the bathrooms. She sat me down on the bench and got a towel and some water. The water was soothing. She cleaned the dried blood from my eyebrow and my face. Spencer's face was inches away from me. I admired her beauty. She was truly beautiful even if she was sweaty.

"It's not that deep but I'm going to a liquid band-aide on," she said reaching for a bottle, "It might sting a little."

I watched as she took the tip out of the bottle and gently began to brush it on the cut. It was cool at first, but there was a sharp sting. I winced and suck in air through my teeth. Spencer's hand rested on mine and the pain suddenly subsided. She pulled out a real band-aide and placed it over the cut.

"There," she said standing up.

"Thanks," I said taking her hand and pulling myself up.

We headed back into the locker room after tryouts. Coach said the roster would be posted by the end of the day and official practice starts tomorrow. I had to shower in the locker room showers, which I wasn't too happy about, but they were nicer than I thought. Each shower had a stall with wooden double doors that reached the floor. There was a door and a changing area and then a door and a shower. Damn this school was rich.

I quickly showered and changed before going out to the car and dropping my bags off. I grabbed my banana and headed to English class. I took a seat next to Emily was gradually falling asleep. I couldn't blame her, waking up at four is brutal. Ms. Hall walking in a few minutes later.

"Alright class, today we will be starting to write our colleges essay," she said happily. There was an audible groan from the class. Ms. Hall just glared at us as she continued to pass out papers. She gave us the rest of the period to brainstorm ideas.

"What are you going to write about," I heard Emily ask me.

"I don't know yet…maybe lacrosse," I replied twirling a pencil in my hand, "what about you?"

"I'm going to write out my coming out story," she replied confidently.

"That's great," I chimed.

The periods went by faster than yesterday. I just wanted to see who made the team. I took a seat at the lab bench and laid my head down on the desk. I must have dozed off, because I feel someone shaking me awake.

"What?" I mumbled out.

"Teacher's out…we have a free," Spencer said looking at me.

"Oh okay," I said grabbing my belongings.

"Want to practice throwing?" she asked point towards the fields. I nodded and followed her.

I threw my bag into the car and grabbed my stick. The fields were empty except for Spencer and a pair of speakers. She started to blast some music and we passed the ball back and forth.

"So how's Ohio treating you?"

"Good, but I'm still adjusting," I said tossing the ball back to her.

"Well I bet you'll make the team," she replied turning the music off and coming to closer to me.

"I know I will," I said with confidence.

"The list should be up soon," she said grabbing her things.

I put my stuff back into the car and followed Spencer towards the locker rooms. There was a herd of girls surround Coach as he tried to pin the roster on the door. Girls swarmed around the list. Some of them were jumping with glee, others walking away sad. I saw Emily come up to me with a wide smile on her face.

"Ashley I made! I made the team!" she squealed while jumping up and down.

"That's amazing," I said giving her a hug.

"You made it too," she said giving me another hug and walked away.

Spencer returned from looking at the roster. She had a glistening smile on her face. I returned the smile before it instantly faded. Spencer looked confused until she turned around and saw Carmen storming towards me.

"Davies!" she screamed slamming me up against the lockers.

"What do you want Carmen?" I said trying to loosen her grip on my shoulders.

"Carmen let her go," I heard Spencer voice beside me.

"Watch yourself Davies. Today was just an 'accident' I'll be coming after you," she whispered in my ear before slamming against the locker and leaving.

Spencer helped me to my feet and picked up my bag. I caught Coach's eyes; he face looked concerned. I nodded telling him that things were okay before following Spencer out into the parking lot.

"I'm sorry about that," Spencer said shuffling her feet.

"It's okay. I get it new girl makes varsity," I said opening my door.

"I'll talk to her, but in the mean time watch out," she said walking towards her car. I pulled into the driveway. As I opened the door I saw Spencer pulling into hers. I gave her a smile before disappearing into the house.

I felt a pair of little arms grasp my leg. Sid was clinging to my leg giving me a goofy smile. I pried him off and picked him up.

"Ashwly can we watch a wovie?" he asked giving me a puppy face.

"Sure bud! What to you want to watch?" I asked putting him down.

"Finding Nemo," he shouted running and handing me the DVD. I put in into the player and sat him down on the couch.

When the movie ended, Sid was fast sleep on the couch. I threw a blanket over him and started to do my homework. My mother came home shortly after and put Sid to bed.

"Ashley want happened," she said grabbing my head and looking at the cut left by Carmen.

"It's nothing mom, just a little scratch at tryouts today," I said pulling her hands away from my head.

"It looks a bigger than just an 'accident'."

"Mom! It was my fault. I tripped and fell and her stick hit my face," I said hoping her wouldn't catch my lie.

She handed me my dinner before I headed up to my room. I sat in front of my computer as I started to write my essay.

"I've never learned to appreciate something until it's really gone. Life is a never-ending cycle of challenges. But it these challenges that make us who we are. The challenges and struggles that I have face and construction the person I am today. Me…" I felt the tears start to stream down my face as flashes of Madison appeared in front of me.

There was a knock on my door.

"Mom I just want to be left alone," I shouted.

"Um sorry. Your mom let me in. I hope that's okay?" I heard the angelic voice. I turned around and saw Spencer in the doorway. I spun around and wipe the tears away hoping that she didn't see them. I beckoned her to come in.

"Yeah no…it's fine," I said getting up.

"Wow. This room is amazing," she said in awe. I blushed a little. I watched as she walked over to the balcony and peered out. When she turned around there was a smile on her face.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"I can see my room from your balcony," she replied and went to sit down on the bed. I took a quick peak out of the balcony window and saw I room that was empty. I assumed that was what Spencer was talking about.

"No!" I heard a shriek. I wiped around and found Spencer looking at a picture. "You played for the USA in the world championships?"

"Yeah," I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"No wonder you're so good," she said setting the picture down and returning to the bed. Her eyes surveyed my room, looking around at all the picture I had hung up and Madison and friends. Her eyes fell on the picture on my nightstand on Madison and I on the beach.

"Who is this?" she asked pointing to Madison.

"That was my girlfriend Madison," I responded.

"You two look happy. Is she back in California?"

"We were…she passed away a few months ago," I said taking the photo from Spencer's hand and looking at Madison.

"I'm so sorry," Spencer said getting up and pulling me into a tight hug.

"It's okay…really," I lied. I pulled away and set the picture back on the nightstand before walking out on the balcony. I threw myself on the hammock. I moved over to make room for Spencer. We lay there for a while just looking up at the sky. It was beautiful, the stars dancing against the black background.

"I should get going," Spencer said as she swung herself off the hammock, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks for coming over," I replied getting up and following her down the stairs. I watched as her figure walked across the lawn. There was a strange feeling inside of me, the feeling of life. After the accident with Madison I couldn't see myself happy until now. Something about Spencer is lifting this weight from inside me.

"She seemed like a very nice girl," my mother said from the doorway. I felt a smile inch onto my lips as I nodded.

"Yeah, she's on the lacrosse team," I replied, rocking back and forth on my heels, "I should get some rest." I thumbed towards my room. My mother just nodded and get back into the kitchen to finish the dishes. I peeked into Sid's room on the way up. He was sound asleep. I placed a gently kiss on his forehead and pulled his covers over his tiny figure.

I returned to my hammock and threw and blanket over myself.

"Madison," I said to the sky, "I miss you so much." I closed my eyes and let my subconscious take over.

_"__I miss you too Ashley."_

"I made the lacrosse team and beat out this girl for center position. I think she's going to come after me with sharp knives," I laughed a little.

_"__You always had that charm," she said. _I could hear her laughing. _"Who was that girl that you were with?"_

"Her name's Spencer. She's on the lacrosse team. She came over the check on me."

_"__Is that it?" _I could picture Madison with her arms crossed and her foot tapping.

"Madison…I haven't thought about dating since the 'accident.'"

_"__Ash, you can't stay in the past, wondering what would have happened if you did things differently. I think you need to put yourself out there again."_

"I know, but I don't think that I can take my heart being broken again."

"_Spencer, she's different from most. She makes you feel normal doesn't she?"_

"She makes me feel like me again," I said opening my eyes. I glanced over at the bedroom and saw Spencer at her desk writing something in her notebook before closing it.

"She's doing something to me."

**Thanks for reading. Review please tell me what you thought! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys thanks for sticking with me! I'm glad you all like the story and the reviews are really helpful and encouraging. I know that I'm updating alot, but hey I don't think you mind that much. This is only because I'm leaving for four weeks soon and I really don't want to have to bother with updating, I just want to enjoy my last couple weeks of summer. I hope you don't mind to much, but I'm also going to a place where the wifi is effy...so anyways thanks for reading. Please review I love to hear what you have to say, even if it's negative. Negativity helps me to critic my story in way that more readers will enjoys! **

I felt a small object jump onto my bed. The warm rays of sunlight hit my face. When I opened my eyes, my six-year-old brother was sitting in front of me giving me a toothy smile.

"Hey bud," I said rubbing my eyes.

"Ashwly can you driwe me to my frwiends house?" he asked, giving me a pleading look. I glanced out the window and noticed that my mother had already left for work. I took a look at my watch. Oh shit. I had to be at practice in 40 minutes.

I quickly changed and grabbed my bag, before shoving Sid out the door. His friend's house was literally on the opposite side of town. I made it to practice just in time.

"Alright now I know that we've had a few changes in line-up since last year. We have a new center, Davies, and a new defender, Emily. I want you to treat them like you would any other player. I will not tolerate any bullying, abuse, or back talk. You all saw what happened to Carmen. Don't think that you can get away with anything like that. We clear?" There was a 'yes coach.'

"Pair up," Coach yelled. I looked around and noticed that most of the others had paired up already. I pointed at Emily and she gave me a smile before coming over to me.

"Ah I see you two are paired together," Coach said coming over to us.

"How is everything? Nobody's been bullying you or anything?" I shook my head along with Emily.

"Good. If anything does happen you let me know immediately."

We scrimmaged for the rest of practice. I got a few pats on the back and a few 'thank god you replaced Carmen.' I felt pretty confident about myself. Nobody hated me; in fact I think everyone was glad that I had replaced Carmen.

Coach blew the whistle and beckoned us to come to the bleacher where there was a giant box. We watched as he started reading the names off the jersey and tossing them to the correct person. I glanced over at Spencer's and there was a big 'C' on the left chest. I heard my name and grabbed my jersey. My name was ironed on in white and a big #13 on the back. It popped out against the purple jersey. When I turned the jersey over I noticed that there was a 'C' just like Spencer's.

"Coach, why is there a captain's title on my jersey?" I asked him after the rest of the team had gone to the locker rooms.

"Spencer came and talked to me and asked if you two could be co-captains. I figure that it wouldn't be a bad idea, considering you're more experienced than anyone on this team."

"Thank you coach, but do you think that the team will like a noobie make captaincy?"

"I watched the way you interact with them; I think that they would actually support my decision."

"Thank you, Coach. It's an honor," I said before giving him a smile and heading towards the locker rooms.

When I got there the locker room was empty, except for Spencer, who was changing. I set my equipment down in my box that had 'Davies' written on tape.

"Here," Spencer said handing me a bag. I set my shirt down and grabbed the bag. Inside there was a rugby shirt, pinnie, warm-up pants, shorts, socks, shirts, and a team jacket.

"What's this for?" I asked looking at the clothing. All of them had King High Lacrosse and my name, "Captain Davies" written on them.

"Our uniforms…it's kinda a school policy," she said as she finished putting on her shirt.

"This school has a lot of policies," I said, "at least we don't have to wear uniforms." I rummaged through my bag, but couldn't find my shirt. Why now! I grabbed a shirt from the bag an threw it on.

"We had them last year, but they had to get rid of it because too many people protested against it."

"Let me guess, you were one of them…"

"Of course…I was not going to let this body go unnoticed in those gross polyester skirts." I burst out laughing.

"What are you doing later today?" she asked grabbing her bags.

"I have to pick up my brother in 20 minutes, then I'm free. Why?"

"Well since you're new I thought that maybe you would want to tour around and see what Ohio is like."

"I'd love to," I said shouldering my bag.

"Great so does 4 pm work for you?" she asked getting into her car.

"Yeah," I tried to respond casually.

"Great, I'll pick you up," she said closing the door. I leaned against the door and glanced at her through the open window.

"You do you I live right next to you…"

"Doesn't mean I can't pick you up," she said laughing. I pushed myself off her door and watch her drive away. She's doing something to me. I've never felt like this since Madison. I felt the butterflies in my stomach again. What am I going to wear?

I pulled up in front of Sid's friend house. I was amazed that he had already made friends in the first three days. He'll be just fine when he goes to high school. I knocked on the front door and a young woman opened the door.

"You must be Ashley, Sid's big sister. I'm Dana. Please come in," she said opening the door wider. I stepped into the house. There were toys scattered around the floor.

"I'm sorry about the mess," she said picking up some toys. I bent down and started to help her pick up the mess that was no doubt made by Sid.

"Don't worry about it," I said tossing the toys into a box. I joined Dana on the couch.

"Jess took the kids to a movie, but they should be back soon," she said, "You play lacrosse?"

"Yeah, I just got back from practice actually," I replied.

"My daughter made the team this year. I don't know if you know her, Emily?"

"Yeah, she's in the English class. This is actually my first year on the team," I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"Wow, and you're already made Captain. That rarely happens," she said wide eyed.

"So I've heard. I've played for a long time."

We heard the door open and two screaming kids ran into the living room. They shouted about how awesome Toy Story 3 was. Dana and I shared a good laugh. Dana got up and introduced me to the other person coming through the door.

"Hey Jess, this is Ashley, Sid's sister," she said introducing me to the women.

"Hey Ashley, it's a pleasure to meet you. Sid's an amazing little kid," she said pointing to the little child attached to my leg.

"You ready go," I said looking down at Sid. He nodded.

"It was nice meeting you Dana. Tell Emily I said 'hi'."

Sid followed me out to the car. I helped him buckle in. Throughout the car ride home I listened to how Woody tried to escape some daycare called Sunny Side and how a pink bear was an evil master mind. It was quite entertaining to hear a five-year-old try to explain all of this to you.

When I pulled into the driveway, my mother was just getting out of her car. She helped get Sid out of the car. I faintly heard him from upstairs recounting Woody, Sunny Sun, and evil pink bear to my mother. I glance at my clock…3 pm. I hopped into the shower and scrubbed all the sweat from my body.

I ruffled through my clothing. I found a pair of tan shorts and a light pink v-neck. I really need to get organized. I rummaged through my shoebox. I had to settle with my Sperry's because I wasn't able to find the other pair to any of my shoes. I peeked out the balcony and saw Spencer leaving her room. I quickly put on deodorant and a little make-up.

I ran down the stair grabbing my Patagonia vest and yelling a 'goodbye mom's I'm going out' to my mother. Spencer was already in my driveway. I let out a laugh considering she literally lived ten feet away and she was picking me up.

"So where are we off to first?" I asked buckling my seat beat.

"It's a surprise."

I thought that we were going to go into the city, but Spencer veered off to the right. I was a little disappointed, oh well; I guess I'll drag Sid with me. The house became more distant as we entered a forest. I gave Spencer a quizzical look, but she just smiled and continued deeper into the forest.

We parked on the side of the dirt path. Spencer got out and opened my door before I have my seat belt undone.

"So I know that I promised to take you look around, but I wanted to show something first," she said leading towards a path. We walked for a couple of minutes. The tree line thinned and a crystal clear lake came into view. It was the most beautiful place that I had ever seen.

"It's…so beautiful," I said my eyes still fixed on the sparkling water. I felt Spencer's hand wrap around mine and pull me towards the little beach area. The warmth of her hand surged through my hand, making me smile.

I followed her over to a rock where were she sat and leaned her back against it.

"Come here," she said patting the sand next to her. I slowly moved and sat down next to me.

"Is this place important to you?" I asked glancing over at her.

"My brother, the other one, Glen and I used to come here to get away from my parents when they were fighting. I come here to clear my head. When I'm here all my problem seems to disappear," she said resting her head on my shoulder.

"Where is you're brother?" I asked. I had already met Clay, but Spencer didn't really talk about Glen much.

"He's at the hospital," she said quietly looking out at the water.

"Does he work there?" I asked. She shook her head, and I connected the dots, "Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't know…um…"

"Ash, calm down. It's okay," she said trying to loosen the tension. She called me "Ash" I haven't heard anyone call me that since Madison died. I looked at her in surprised, before pulling my hand away. Spencer looked offended.

"I'm sorry, the only person who called me 'Ash' was Madison. I was just a little surprised," I said retaking to reassure her that I wasn't offended.

"I didn't mean too. It just slipped out."

We sat there apologizing to each other over and over until we found it to be pointless. The sun has set by the time we decided that it was time to leave. If I could have stayed in one place for the rest of my life, I would stay here. I marked it on my phone before we pulled away.

"So where are we going now?" I asked staring out the window.

"Well…we have early morning practice before school and after school," she said, "can I finish showing you around another time?" I nodded. I was getting a little tired myself, even though we didn't have school because of some professional thing, but practice wiped me.

Twenty minutes later we pulled up into her driveway. I didn't want out get out of the car but I could see how tired Spencer was. She had dark bags under her eyes and she was continuously yawning on the ride home. I got out of the car and walked her up toward her door.

"Thanks for taking me out Spencer. I really enjoyed it," I said giving her a quick hug. Everything about this girl was making my heart race faster than ever. We were both startled when the door flung open and a woman, who looked somewhat like Spencer appeared. A man came up behind her; he had blues eyes like Spencer. When he smiled, I would tell that Spencer had inherited the smile.

"Who is this Spencer?" her mother asked coming towards me. I slowly backed up until I hit the pillar.

"This is Ashley, mom," she said trying to get her mother to back away from me a little.

"Is this the girl you're seeing?" her father asked her. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Spencer blushing furiously.

"No mother. Ashley's on the lacrosse, she just moved here and I was showing her around," she said trying to hide her flushed cheeks and her embarrassing mother.

"Oh you're that Ashley. Spencer never stops talking about you," her mother said giving me a smile.

"MOM!" Spencer shouted trying to get her mother to stop. I think her mother got the hint but decided to embarrass her daughter a little more.

"Spencer hasn't brought her girlfriend home so I just assumed that you were her," she said quickly before retreating into the house.

"I'm sorry about her. She doesn't really understand limits," Spencer said sticking her hands into her pockets.

"It's what mothers do," I replied, "I should get going."

"I'll see you tomorrow them," she said before retreating back into the house.

I shuffled into the house. My mother and Sid must have gone to bed, because the house was dark and quiet. There was a bowl of pasta in the kitchen waiting for me. I heated it up and went up to my room.

I walked over to the balcony and stared out the opening. Spencer was in her room, dressed in her pjs. She was writing something in her notebook again. I watched her as she pondered on what to write. I saw her glance up; I quickly hid and waiting until she went back to writing. She got up and closed her notebook. The room went dark, and I knew that she had gone to bed.

_"__I don't think that I have ever seen you spy on people before," I heard Madison's voice in my subconscious. _

"I wasn't spying," I spat out.

_"__Um yes you were! Ash I can see right through your lies."_

"Fine! I was spying."

_"__Care to explain…"_

"She makes me forget about the past, but it frightens me that I do. I don't want to forget about you Madison. She makes me feel like I'm turning over a new leaf."

_"__You're not going to lose me Ash. I will always be here, whenever you need me."_

"I'm afraid that if I fall in love, that I will lose you forever."

_"__I want to see you happy more anything, and if that means I lose you then I lose you, but you will never lose me."_

"Madison..." I opened my eyes. I felt the tears stream down my face. The realization struck me. I can either fall in love or lose Madison forever. I curled up on the bed and cried, letting all the angry, sadness, frustration, pity, and happiness flow out of my body.

"Ashlwy…?" I heard a small squeak come form the door. I peeked over my shoulder and saw Sid's small silhouette in the doorway.

"Why are you cwying?" he asked coming in and sitting on the bed.

"I'm just frustrated and angry," I said to him truthfully, "I'm angry because I'm guilty and I'm frustrated because I can't stray away from my guilt."

"Maddwy would want you to be happy…"

"I know she would," I said wiping the tears from my eyes, "I miss her so much Sid."

"I miss her too Ashlwy; she was famwee." That did it. I was full out crying when Sid's tiny arms wrapped around my neck engulfing me in a tiny hug for comfort. Madison was family to me.

**thanks for reading! please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys I'm back with another chapter! Let me know if you like this one. I thought that I would throw this one in for shits and giggles, but I don't know if I should continue this plot line! Anyways enjoy! Review!**

**Chapter 4 (five weeks later):**

"Ashley," I heard someone yell my name in the hall. I turned around to see who it was, but a heard of people staggered into me. I felt a pair of wrap around my waist preventing me from painfully hitting the stone floor.

"Sorry." I looked back at the raven-haired girl, who released her grip around my waist. I could see her cheek turning red.

"Don't worry about it," I said giving her a reassuring smile.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" she asked nervously. I smiled a little; because I had a feeling I knew what she was going to ask me.

"Just lacrosse…why?" The poor thing was now turning bright red.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie, maybe get something to eat…"

"Like a date?" I question with a smile on her lips. I watched as the word 'yes' hesitated on her lips.

** "**Yes?" she asked uncertainly.

"Okay see you at six," I said cheerfully before walking away leaving her in the hallway with her mouth still open. I decided to take Madison's advice on 'putting myself out there again' but I was a little nervous. I loved Madison more than I think I could love anyone else. But, she's gone and I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking of what we could have become.

I rounded the corner and noticed Spencer talking to someone on the phone. I could hear her distinct laugh through the crowded hallways. When she spotted me, she said a quick 'goodbye' and started to walk towards me.

"DAVIES!" I turned around and saw Carmen storming up towards me. Last week Carmen was given stop back on the team because one of the other players mysteriously got a concussion. Ever since Carmen was back she has been trying to gain her spot as center position by making my life hell. She would trip me every time she got, jabbed me with the end of her stick, knock me in the head, anything.

"What do you want Carmen?" I said angrily.

"I think it's time that you give me that spot back," she said getting up in my face.

"Excuse me. Your spot…last time I remember was you were kicked off the team…" I've been dodging Carmen all week; I'm done with her.

"You got my spot because you had no competition," she spat back,

"Why are you so obsessed with one spot? You were let back on the team, you should be thankful that Coach even let you back on." I shouted back.

"Because it's mine…" she said pushing me back before walking away.

"Hey," I heard Spencer's voice behind me, "everything alright?"

"Yeah…I'm just a little tired," I lied. I was tried. Tired of Carmen trying to hurt me in anyway possible.

I followed Spencer into the locker room. Emily and Carmen were already changing along with the rest of the team. I quickly threw on a pair of shorts and a penny before heading out to the lower fields. Coach had already set up the cones and was waiting for us.

"Alright girls! I'm so proud of our undefeated season so far. I want to congratulate Spencer and Ashley for making the Ohio All-Star team." There was a round of applause and a few pats on the back. Carmen was on the outer circle fuming.

"Our season is almost over. We have our last game tomorrow and then states the following week. In the mean time I want you to play your hardest."

Spencer and I ran the rest of practice. Spencer did her best to keep Carmen on the opposite of the field away from me. But, Carmen always found away to get to me.

"I want everyone to divide into two team," Spencer shouted. The players formed two teams and formed around the field.

"I'm sorry Ash, but Carmen's going to be center," Spencer said whispering into my ear before joining the other team. She gave me an apologetic look before turning away. Great, just my luck.

I put my stick up against Carmen's as Emily dropped the ball in between us. I flick the ball toward Taylor who caught it and went running up the field. Carmen bolted around, but, of course, to make my life hard the end of her stick collided with my ribs. I bent over momentarily before straighten up and running slowly. Spencer stopped running and gave me a worried look that I ignored. I gritted my teeth against the pain that was ushering from my side. Carmen had already left her mark on my eyebrow; I will not let her mark me again. I know that my ribs aren't broken because I would have recognized the pain. Our team managed to score and Carmen returned to her position in front of me.

When the ball had been tossed up into the Carmen spared me mercy and only elbowed me on the other side. It was becoming hard to run because every breath I took hurt. Tears started to appear in my eyes from the pain. Spencer ran up from behind me and told me the next person to get a goal ends practice. I didn't even attempt to try to shake the ball from Carmen at the start. I just stood there and let her run down the field with the ball.

"Great practice today. Rest up, we our last game of the season is tomorrow. Wear your uniforms tomorrow," Spencer said to the leaving crowd. I took a seat on the bleacher and gently lowered myself. I applied pressure to my sides, no broken bones.

"Ashley," Spencer said leaning over me.

"Hey," I replied.

"I really hate to ask you this, but I'm running a little late. Do you think that you could pick up the cones and lacrosse balls."?

"Yeah, no problem," I said as I slowly raised myself, wincing a little as I went.

"Thank you so much," she said engulfing me in a hug. I grimaced. Why me?

I started to pick up the cones and balls and throw them into the bag. My ribs were still aching and we had the last game of our season tomorrow, besides States. It took me an hour to clean up everything. I threw the bag into the closet and gathered up the things. I gently hoisted myself into the car and drove home slowly. This was going to be a long night.

I inched my way up the stairs. When I got to my room I went straight to the bathroom and took off my shirt. There were two nice size bruises forming. I groan and hopped into the shower. The hot water didn't help much…it only made it hurt more.

I went down stairs and grabbed some ice from the freezer and put in a bag before heading back upstairs. I threw on a pair of shorts and put the ice on my sides while I lay down. I must have fallen asleep because I heard my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I said groggy.

"Hey Ashley," I heard Emily's voice, "Sorry I didn't know whether to knock or not." I glanced down at my watch 6:05 pm. Shit.

"Come in the doors unlock," I replied. I took the bags of water off my shirt and changed into v-neck. I heard the door open and then close. I quickly brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, and put on a little make-up. I popped a few Advil before I rushed down the stair and found Emily in the hallway looking at pictures.

"Hey," I said coming into hallway, "Sorry I sort of fell asleep."

"No worries I was running late anyways…so you ready to go," she asked. I nodded and grabbed my wallet and jacket.

The drive over there was simple. We talked about lacrosse and All-Stars, then about how Hall graded out colleges way to harsh, and of course the topic of Carmen got thrown into the conversation. It made me think back to the burning pain coming from my ribs; I should have taken more Advil.

About half an hour later we pulled up into the parking lot of a casual restaurant. I'm glad Emily has taste, honestly I hate fancy things. We sat down and ordered a pizza.

"What movie are we seeing?" I asked munching on some pizza.

"Well I was either thinking Noah or 12 Years a Slave, or whatever is playing," she said biting into her own pizza.

"Surprise me…they both sound good," I said. I saw a smile curl onto her lips.

We finished eating and decided on splitting the bill. The movie theater was actually pretty close to restaurants. The theaters here were a lot smaller than the one in L.A. Emily decided on Noah, which was actually the movie that I was hoping she would pick.

The movie itself was pretty good. Even though it is completely impossible to build an arc that holds that many animals than floats for days. Emily on the other hand thought that movie was horrendous. Well we all have our differences, right?

The date with Emily was probably one of the best that I have ever had in a while. For once, I didn't feel the shame on Madison's death weighing on my shoulders. It was like I was free, but I was scared of being free.

"I had an wonderful night," Emily said with a shy smile.

"I did too," I responded with a smile. I leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. Her facial expression froze like she was in a trance. I laughed a little and she came out of it. Her hands grasped my jacket and pulled me closer before capturing my lips. There wasn't a spark, but it felt different. When we pulled apart Emily was smiling, laughing, and blushing.

"Thank you for tonight," I said opening the door.

"Thank you for saying 'yes'," she said. I waved her 'goodbye' as she pulled out the driveway. Wow…okay. I just kissed Emily. I kissed someone. The kiss felt good but it felt like I was kissing my best friend. In fact, I was kissing my best friend. I like Emily, but I just realized out relationship is platonic.

I paced around on the porch trying to figure out what to do. I automatically put my hands on my sides, which I regretted immediately. I groaned as the pain intensified. My eyes started to water.

"You 've been pacing for the past hour," I heard a voice say. I looked up and Spencer standing on the steps. Her smile immediately faded when she saw my watery eyes.

"Ashley are you okay?" she asked coming closer to put her hands around me. I instinctively back away not wanting her to touch my sides for both our sakes

"I'm sorry," I said realizing my actions were offensive, "I would totally let you comfort me or whatever. I had a rough day at practice …I didn't mean to back away…I mean I'm sorry I didn't mean to me offensive…" I sigh and hung my head in defeat.

"Carmen?" she asked. I nodded and pointed at my sides. I felt Spencer tug at the sides of my shirt. I slowly lifted it up. Spencer's eyes widened' I watched as her eyes grazed my stomach, before landing on my sides.

"Carmen did this?" she asked angrily. I nodded again. She hand ran gently over the bruised tissue. Her hands were so smooth they gave me goose bumps and sent shivers down my spine.

"Sorry," she said removing her hand, "I have some stuff that might help."

"I'll take anything at this point," I said pulling my shirt down.

"Okay I'll be right back," she said walking in the direction of her house. I went inside and changed quickly into sport shorts, sports bra, and a t-shirt. I heard her open the door and walk into my room. She had some lotion in a bottle, a few ice packs, some cloths, and a CD. She patted the bed and motioned for me to lie down.

"Can I?" she asked pointing at my shirt. I nodded and took it off, leaving me only a sports bra. She poured some of the lotion onto her hands gently put them on my sides. Her hands rub gently in circle, trying not to apply too much pressure.

"Why didn't you tell anyone Carmen did this?" she asked concerned. I shrugged my shoulders and didn't respond. She stopped and glared at me.

"Because I didn't want your brother to take me out of the game tomorrow. I didn't want Carmen to win," I said looking into her blue eyes.

"Ashley…" she said sadly, "Carmen is nothing compared to you." I smiled before Spencer accidentally put a little too much pressure making me shoot up in pain.

"I'm sorry," she said panicking. She was so cute when she was having one of her freak out moments.

"Spencer, relax, I'm fine," I said. She just looked at me again.

Spencer handed me the two ice packs to hold to my sides while she wrapped a cloth bandage around my waist. I was already feeling a little better.

"You have a tattoo," she said pointing at area above my right shoulder. I glanced over my shoulder. I got the tattoo after the car accident that claimed Madison's life. I had two birds tattooed on my back with Madison's name written in them.

"Yeah, I got it a day after she passed." was all I could muster at the moment. I felt her hands trace the writing.

"It's beautiful," she breathed out, "so meaningful. I wish I had something meaningful."

"You do; you just might not have found it yet."

"You think?" she asked turning to face me again.

"I know." A smile curled onto her lips. I mimicked her.

"I should get some rest," she said handing me my shirt. I took and slipped it back on over the ice packs.

"I'll give you a ride tomorrow," she said getting off the bed.

"You don't have to," I replied.

"Just accept the kind offer," she said in a serious but joking manner.

"Fine," I said getting up, only to have Spencer push me back down.

"Rest," she simply said before leaving. I watched as she retreated towards the door. I pulled myself out of bed and went to the balcony. I've learned from my 'spying' that every night before bed Spencer spends ten minutes writing in her notebook. I've been meaning to ask her what she writes about, but then she would know that I spy on her.

I crawled under the covers as sleep began to take over.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys next chapter is up! Thanks for all the reviews; I really enjoy reading them. Anyways I'll be posting one more chapter before I take a break from writing. I think I need to give myself a little rest before school starts again. Sorry readers, I promise that I'll post by the mid of August. I just need some time to relax a little. I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Review and let me know that you think! **

I woke the blaring of my alarm clock. The ice packs around my waist were warm and liquidity. The bruises were still prominent, but the pain was gone. Damn, Spencer has magic hands. I pulled myself out of bed and into the shower. I let the hot water trick down my skin, relieving all the pains and stress.

I rummaged through my dresser and found my lacrosse rugby shirt and khaki shorts. The sweatpants they gave me were huge so I never wore them. I found my Sperry's under my bed and threw on my team jacket.

I heard my phone ding.

Spencer: Leaving in ten minutes. Meet you in the driveway.

Ashley: Sounds good.

I grabbed my bags and lunch before heading out of the house. Spencer was in her driveway putting her bags into her Jeep.

"Morning," she said taking my bags from me and putting them into the back.

"Morning," I said opening the door.

"Let me see," she said before letting me in the car. I was confused at first, but when she point to my shirt I realized. I lifted it up and she looked my bruises.

"You going to be okay to play?"

"Yeah," I said confidently. I am not confident whether I will be able to play the game. Only Spencer and Carmen know about my condition, and I have a feeling that Carmen will use it to her advantage.

"I'll see you in Physics," Spencer said getting out of the car.

"Okay," I responded.

"Call me if anything comes up okay," she said point to my shirt. I nodded and grabbed my bag.

I walking into English class and found Emily, who was dress similar to me, sitting in the seat in front of mine. She seemed to be in deep thought.

"If you think anymore, you head is going to explode," I whispered into her ear. She flinched and looked back as me, giving me a smile before returning to face the teacher. Okay, something was wrong. Emily was acting weirder than usual. She usually talks to me first thing in the morning and the teacher is always telling her to be quite. I whipped out my phone and sent her a text:

Ashley: Hey everything okay?

Emily: Fine

Ashley: Can we talk?

Emily: Fine, meet you in the locker room before the game.

"Girls, phones away now!" We were caught. Great. Hall had a no tolerance policy for cellphone. We found ourselves walking to the main office to meet with vice principal.

"Can we talk now?" I asked taking a seat in front of the office.

"Okay," she said plainly.

"About last night…I shouldn't have kissed you," I said truthfully, "I like you I really do, but I like you as a friend and nothing more. You just looked like you were having a great time and I didn't want to ruin it. It didn't feel right; it felt like I was kissing my best friend."

"I shouldn't have kissed you. It's just you kissed me and it would be weird if I just left you hanging. I like you to, but I'd rather be friends."

"So…we can move past this and be just friends again?" I asked.

"I'd like nothing better," she said.

I was surprised how simple that was. It previous attempts I've received slaps in the face. Emily was different; we had a mutual understanding.

When the vice principal came out to talk to us, he just dismissed us with a warning. He wasn't in the mood to deal with students and their cellular devices.

"Hey you ready for tonight?" Emily asked as we walked back to class.

"I hope so…" I said uncertainly.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Try to keep Carmen away from me," I said before heading to Calculus.

The rest of the day went by pretty fast. The pain from my bruises hasn't bothered me lately, except when getting up and sitting down. When I reached Physics class Spencer wasn't there. I was a little worried considering we were leaving for the game after this period. But, Spencer came in half through the period.

"Sorry," she said, "I had to deal with something." I so badly wanted to ask what she had to deal with but she didn't look like she wanted to talk about it, so I didn't ask.

"How are you holding up?" she asked.

"I'll be fine…I hope," I said but only the first part was loud enough to hear.

Physics class finally ended and we all filed out of the classroom. I followed Spencer to the locker room where the rest of the team was gathered. I watched Spencer get up on one of the bench to give a speech.

"It's been a great season, an undefeated season Ashley and I want to thank you for all the hard work that you have done this season. Now let's go kick some Cougars ass." There was a loud uproar as we exited the locker room and boarded the buses. I was going to sit with Spencer, but Emily pulled me away. I glared at her but when I saw Carmen heading towards us I quickly sat down. I was not in the mood for another showdown with Carmen. Emily did want I asked; keep Carmen away from me.

The bus ride over there was full of chatter; Emily and I fell into simple conversation. Even once and again I would catch Spencer looking back at me. A person began to move down the aisles towards me, when they came closer I realized that it was Coach.

"Davies," he said sitting in the seat across from me.

"Coach," I said turning to face him. He pulled out a letter and handed it to me. I took and examined it carefully. In the upper right hand corner read University of North Carolina. My mouth dropped as I read the university's name. Coach just smile and patted me on the back before leaving.

I quickly opened the letter and read it. Eyes going to and fro reading the words, they paused when I got to the phrase 'considering offering you a full ride to play for the UNC Tar Heels.' UNC wants me. From my knowledge most people who get 'considering you' letter often commit. I've dreamed of going there my entire life. It's been my dream college. I couldn't contain my excitement. Even though I was only a junior, soon to be senior, they were very impressed with my achievements. I let the smile creep onto my lips. It was plastered on my face until we reached Hillside High School.

We filed out onto the field and glared at the other team. Apparently they had an undefeated season as well. I didn't know too much about them other than that they were our biggest rivals. People actually hated them. When you looked at them they did look at little rough. The tallest person on our team was the shortest person on their team. Spencer and I shook hands with the captains before we ran onto the field.

Their center person, 12, was…huge. Not saying like round, but tall and bulky. She must have been four inches taller than me, maybe 6'2'' 180lbs. I put my stick up against her and waited for the referee to drop the ball. When he did I was pushed back as the girl grabbed the ball and torn up the field.

I felt myself racing after her with Spencer at my side. But before we could block her Carmen completely body slammed the other girl, and took the ball.

The pain in my side was getting worse. It hurt to exhale and even more to inhale.

"Ashley," I heard Spencer call out. I ignored her and went to face #12 again. This time I stole the ball and race up the field. The other team decided to retaliate against me for Carmen's actions. This is women's lacrosse for pity sake. We don't body slam each other, we gently tap. Well other player rammed me off my feet just as I release the ball from my pocket. I hit the ground. Damn.

There was a roar of applause from the other team, but a similar one from my coach. The ball had gone in the net, thank the lord. Now all I had to do was get myself up and do die in a hole. The player who rammed into my got up and walked away leaving me on the ground. I heard the ref blow her whistle. She knelt next to me and asked if I was okay I nodded and slowly crawled my way up.

I hobbled off the field as Coach started to walk towards me, but Carmen came up to greet me first.

"You should have looked where you were going Davies."

"Give it a fucking rest Carmen. Can't you see what you've done," I said pointing and the field and myself, "you've been a bitch to me since I got here. I can barely because of these." I pulled up my shirt and showed her the two, now three bruises. Her face had soften a bit and it looked like she was about to say something, but I was already fuming to let her say anything. "You've made every attempt to get your damn spot back, but have you ever thought of this. This team has never had an undefeated season since I got here. Every game you were in you hurt someone. I've tried to deal this you, but all you've done is spit it right back in my face. Well I'm done with your bullshit. I'm done, take you're damn spot see what I care." I stormed off the field leaving Carmen standing there. I walked right passed the Coach trying to give him a sign that I was done, for now. I think he understood because he nodded and headed back to the bleachers. I grabbed my bag, walking past the crowd of people towards the table near the parking lot.

I pulled the ice pack that Spencer had given me and broke them. I took off my shirt and lay down on the table putting the ice packs on my sides. I let out an angry sigh for letting Carmen get to me.

"You took a pretty hard hit out there," I heard someone say. I shot up, but immediately regretted it because pain shot up through my body. Dana was standing near the table.

"Dana," I said surprised. She walked towards me. I quickly removed the ice pack and went to put my shirt back on when she stopped me.

"I'm a doctor," she said, "I'm not trying to creep you out. Spencer sent me over to see if you were okay."

I managed a 'oh' and let her check the bruising. She got that look on her face like she was in deep thought. I watched as she looked over the purple and black skin. Then all of the sudden she jabbed at my side. I groaned out before jumping away from her.

"Sorry, I had to make sure it wasn't broken," she said putting her hands up in defense.

"Is it?" I asked taking a step forward again. She shook her hand. Thank god.

"I would recommend staying off it until for the next week," she said taking a seat next to me.

"Thanks," I said honestly. I should have listened to Spencer when she said not to play, but no I was too stupid.

"So when do Jess and I get to see Sid again?" she asked happily trying to loosen the tension.

"You're the first person I've heard ask me that…ever," I said shocked. Usually Sid is such a troublemaker no one wants to go round two with him. Dana just laughed.

"Are you kidding? Sid's an angel," she said laughing still.

"I think I must have hit my head harder than I thought," I joked back, "He's free when you want him."

"Good. I plan to see him soon. He gets Noah off my hands for a little while."

I noticed a heard of people coming from the field. The game must have ended. I was able to make out Spencer from the crowd. When the team for closer they look pretty beaten up, they were covered in grass stains and dirt. Spencer had some blood on her shirt. It's fucking girls' lacrosse not guys'!

"Ashley make sure to ice a lot," Dana said before going to meet Emily, who was pretty tattered herself.

Carmen passed me giving me a sympathetic look, but it just reminded me of how angry I was. I shoulder my bag and headed towards the buses. Carmen, again, sat down next to Spencer. Emily had gone home with her parents, so I was left with a seat to myself. I stretched out and put the ice packs back on.

The bus pulled into King High about an hour later. We all hopped off the buses and headed our own ways. When I looked for my car in the parking lot, I remember that Spencer had given me a ride to school. I glanced around looking for Spencer but she was nowhere in sight. I waited for twenty minutes to see if she would show, I mean her car was the only one in the parking lot now.

I saw a flash of blond round the corner, that had to be Spencer. I quickly rounded the corner after it, but spotted when I heard voices. Both all too familiar to me.

"Carmen I'm done with your little plan," I heard Spencer say.

"You promised me that you would go through with it," Carmen hissed out.

"Just because I'm dating you doesn't mean you can manipulate me like this," Spencer said stamping her foot. I was confused at first about what they were talking about, but I figured that it had to do with lacrosse and most likely me.

"You and I both had the same goals. And now Davies took look mine away from me. I don't want the same to happen for you. I got kicked off the team for you," Carmen said angered.

"You if I don't have those same goals or ambitions anymore!"

"I gave up everything. You can't let Davies just take it from under your feet. Do we have an understanding?" I heard Spencer mumble a 'yes'.

"Good then we'll do anything we need to make you that star player."

"Okay…"

"Spencer, I'm only doing this because I love you and I want the best for you." Carmen captured Spencer's lip before leaving. Spencer started to come my way. I quickly jogged back the parking lot and sat down next to Spencer's car and pretended like I had fallen asleep.

"Hey sorry I'm late I had to grab some things from my locker," she said getting into the car. I knew that she was totally lying. I got into the car and remained silent for the car ride home. Spencer was dating Carmen and Carmen was dating Spencer. Carmen, the one who I hate, was dating the person who had become an important part of my world. I felt Spencer's eyes on my most of the ride home, but I just stared out at the dark sky.

When we pulled up into Spencer's driveway, I quickly got out and grabbed my bags. I said 'goodbye' before leaving without another word.

**Spencer's POV **

I got back to my car and saw Ashley sleeping next to the door of my car. She looked so peaceful.

"Hey sorry I'm late I had to grab some things from my locker," I lied. I didn't want Ashley to find out what was really going on. I didn't want to do it, but Carmen has her ways. I'm not out out like Ashley is. I just keep it to myself most of the time, hell most of my friends think that I'm dating someone guy name Cam.

The car ride home was long and painfully. Ashley didn't say any thing; all she did was stare out the window. I kept glancing over to she if she was sleep or not. When we pulled up into my driveway, Ashley hoped out of the car and grabbed her bag before saying 'goodbye' and heading towards her house. I watched how gingerly she cared herself. She swayed back and forth probably to keep the pain at a minimal.

When I entered the house it was dark, so I'm assuming the parents were asleep. I quickly showered and changed before sitting at my desk and taking out my notebook.

_Ashley Davies. I don't even know where to begin. Ashley. It seems like I've known her my whole life. We always have something to talk about. She always finds a way to cheer me up or make me laugh. When Carmen reminded me of our plan, it made to think. I've grown to Ashley and I don't want to push her away. I want to pull her closer, but I don't know what to do. She lost her girlfriend a few months ago, I don't know how, but I have a feeling it was hard on her. There's something about Ashley that makes her perfect, but I don't know what that is either. I can't continue this plan with Carmen. I've become too attached to Ashley. _

I didn't feel a pair of eye staring at me as I wrote. When I looked up at Ashley's room her lights were off, except for a tiny glow of a small lamp maybe. I've always sensed when Ashley has stared at me. Every since I pointed out to her that she could see my room from her balcony, I've always sensed her looking at me as I wrote. Today was the first time where I felt suddenly empty.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, but I'm back now! I hope that you are still hanging in with me. I'm glad to see that more people have enjoyed that last few chapters. Anyways review and tell me what you think. It would be nice so that i can figure out if my writing is still on the right path. I hope that you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 6: Spencer's POV**

My alarm jerked me out of my sleep. I quickly rolled out of bed and changed into shorts and my lacrosse jacket. This week has been a rough one. States were today along with the first day of finals. I haven't talked to Ashley since I drove her home last week. I tried to talk to her at school, but Emily has clung to her giving me dirty looks.

"Hey mom," I said walking into the kitchen.

"Hey honey," my mom said handing me my lunch, "we'll be there for your game tonight."

"Awesome," I said grabbing my bags and heading out to the car before giving my mother a quick hug goodbye. I glanced over at Ashley's driveway. She was walking out to her car; she was wearing a similar outfit to mine. When she looked over I waved and gave her a smile. She gave me a weak smile before getting in her car and leaving.

When I got to school, I parked next to Ashley. I looked around to see if I could find her, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Hey," I heard Carmen's voice from behind me.

"Hey," I responded.

"So are you ready for today?" she asked. I know that wasn't talking about the game. She was talking about how to get Ashley out of my way.

"I don't know Carmen," I said trying to avoid her question.

"Spencer…you promised me," she said sternly.

"I know I did Carmen, but she's been through enough. Can't we just forget about it," I whined.

"Spencer, now's your golden chance. From what I've heard Davies hasn't recovered from the last game. Now's your chance, all you need is to give her a little push."

"Carmen, you're telling me to give Ashley Davies a little push! You're telling me to risk my lacrosse career for your stupid little plan!"

"Yes! If you don't I'll do it myself!"

I walked as Carmen stormed off. God, she is so frustrating. I grabbed my bags and headed into the building, but I was stop by…Emily.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Carmen, but if you hurt Ashley, even lay a finger on her, you will regret it!" she said angrily. She must have watched us. I was a little taken a back from Emily's tone; she was always the shy, nice one.

I shoved passed her and headed to my locker. I barely show Ashley during the day, except for during passing time and in Physics class, but even then she wouldn't talk to me. Somehow I felt alone. More alone than I have ever felt in my entire life. Ashley made me feel complete somehow, and now I've realized how empty I am without her.

The bell rang signaling the end of the day. Ashley was the first one to turn in her final before leaving. Damn it. I quickly finished the rest of my test before rushing after her, but when I got to the hallway she had vanished into the swarm of people. This day couldn't get any worse.

I trudge to my locker and grab my stuff before heading to the locker room. My world was turning upside down. Everything was so damn confusing at the moment. Ashley wasn't talking for reason I don't even know about, Carmen is going to take manners into her own hands if I don't do anything, and Emily is threatening to beat me if I lay one finger on Ashley.

"I know that look," I heard Clay say. I turned around and see him leaning against the bus waiting for the rest of the player to come. "What's going on?"

"I've just been having a rough week with finals," I said half lying.

"Are you sure that's it?" he asked. He always knew if I was holding something back. And he always knew when I was lying.

"It's Carmen," I let slip through my lips, "and me."

"What do you mean? She's not pressuring you into anything, is she?" he asked somewhat concerned.

"Sort of, but it was both of our decision, but I realized that it was stupid one and now I don't think that I can get out of it," I tried to say cohesive.

"What do you mean decision?"

"It was out idea to get rid of Da-" Before I could finish the rest of the team interrupted. Clay gave me a concerned look before turning to deal with the team. It felt Carmen's eyes glaring into the back of my skull. I shook the thoughts that she was placing in my brain.

I managed to get a sit with Kyla. Thank god, I don't have to sit next to Carmen. I don't think I could take it. Ashley was sitting a few seats in front of me; she was writing something on a piece of paper. I noticed that she phone was lying in the space next her. I quickly pulled out my phone and send her a text.

Spencer: Can we talk?

I watch as she picked up her phone and read the message. But to my dismay she threw her phone into her bag and continued to write. I let out a frustrating sigh, all my efforts to talk to her had failed. I closed my eyes and tried to think about how everything was going to play out.

We pulled up to the fields about an hour later. We headed to the locker rooms that they had provided for us. Clay got up and made a speech about how great this season was and how we are going to miss the few seniors on our team, and that we wish Ashley and I good luck at All-Stars. I glanced over at Ashley again but she was talking to Emily.

The rest of the team filed out onto the field, but I stayed back noticing that Ashley was not among them. I found her sitting on one of the bench staring at the red metal locker. My hand reached out to touch her, but the minute it made contact her finch and backed away from me.

"Ashley," I said saddened, "can we talk?"

"I don't want to talk to you Spencer," she said sitting back down. Her back faced me.

"Why? What have I done to make you hate me?"

"I don't hate you Spencer," she sighed out.

"Then why won't you talk to me!" I said angrily. I watched as she got up and turned to face me. She bent down and grabbed her stick and mask and started to head toward the field. I managed to grab her before she could get to the door.

"Ashley! Please talk to me," I pleaded with her.

"Hit me…" she said, "it want you want right? You want to 'take me out' and if you don't Carmen's going to do it for you. So…hit me…" I dropped my mouth at what she was saying. She knew. She must have overheard the conversation Carmen and I had last week.

"I-I…" I stammered trying to find the right words.

"I'd rather you hit me that Carmen," she said. Her eyes had saddened and there was miserable sense about her appearance. She looked frail; she didn't look like the strong Ashley I had seen last week.

"Ashley, I'm not going to hit you," I managed to get out, "I've realized that I can't."

"If I take one more hit from Carmen," she whispered, "I'm done for."

"I'm not going to let Carmen hurt you," I said pulling her helpless frame into my arms. Ashley's shoulders started to tremble and I could tell that she was crying. I pulled away from her and looked at her. There were tears streaming from her face.

"It's going to be okay Ashley," I said brushing the tears away from her face.

"Spencer…" she shuttered out searching my eyes for hope. I tried to give her all the hope that I could possess. What I did next, Carmen would never forgive me. I pulled Ashley closer to me; our faces were inches away from each other's. I felt her warm breath on my lips and I couldn't resist. I closed the gap between us, gently capturing Ashley's lips in a passionate kiss. Her lips were so soft and gently against mine. I didn't want the kiss to end, and before I knew it she was kissing me back.

**Dana's POV**

I sat down next to Jess as we watched the players run onto the field. Noah sat on my lap playing with my hair. I saw Emily taking her place on the field and gave her a little wave. I scanned the field and recognized most of the players, but I didn't see Ashley or Spencer anywhere.

"Nowh," I heard a familiar voice shout. I turned around and saw Sid running towards up pulling, I presume, his mother behind me.

"Sid," Noah said getting off my lap and pointing to the seats next to us."

"Do you mind?" the older woman asked.

"No at all," I said motioning her to take the empty seats.

"You're…Ashley's mom, right?" she nodded and tried to get Sid to sit still for two seconds. I watched her as she scanned the field for Ashley. Clay had wandered into the locker room a few minutes ago.

"I'm Dana. Emily's mother," I said pointing out Emily to her.

"Christine," she responded.

"So Ashley tells me you guys are from California," I said trying to waste some time.

"Yeah moved here a few month ago," she said. Her eyes brighten when she saw Ashley and Spencer following Clay out onto the field.

"What made you decide to move from a gorgeous place like California to a small down in Ohio?" It seemed odd that a family would just decide to up and move to a place known to most to a place known to a few, unless you were trying to get away from something or someone.

"The other place had too many bad memories to stay there anymore. We needed a new change of scenery."

"Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No it's alright. A close friend of Ashley's passed away in a car accident, and it was really hard on her. Things just started falling apart for her, so we moved. But, she seems to be doing better now. She's made amazing friends, and she got back into lacrosse. Things are starting to look up."

**Spencer's POV**

I felt Ashley push me up against the wall before attacking my lips again. I let out a soft moan and felt her smile into the kiss.

"Spencer?" I heard my brother's voice coming from the hallway. Ashley and I quickly separated. The door opened and Clay was standing there worried.

"The game is about to start soon," he said motioning to Ashley. I watched her gather her things and head toward the fields. She turned around and gave me a small smile before leaving. I grabbed my stick and facemask and headed towards Clay.

"Clay, I need you to do something for me," I said looking him straight in the eyes, "Keep Carmen off the field when Ashley's on."

"Spencer I can't keep her off the field if I don't have a reason to do so," he said walking me down the hallway.

"Please Clay. I don't want Ashley to get hurt," I pleaded with him.

"Get hurt? What are you talking about?"

"I was trying to tell you by the buses. I made a bad choice that I'm regretting every minute. I'm the reason Carmen takes every chance to beat down Ashley. And now if I don't do something Carmen is going to do a lot more damage than Ashley can take. Please keep Carmen off the field," I said stopping him and pleading with all the hope I had.

"Why Spencer? Why would you do something like that?"

"Because I'm dating Carmen and she's been manipulating me," I said hanging my head in shame. I felt his strong arms pull me into a tight hug.

"I'll do the best I can, but I can't make any promises," he said into my shoulder.

"Thank you Clay," I said composing myself before walking out onto the field to join the team.

I took my place next to Ashley. She was looked livelier.

"Keep you eyes open," I whispered into her ear, "I'll do my best." She gave a simple nod. I glanced towards Emily, who was following my every move. The referee blow her whistle and we all took our places. She dropped the ball and Ashley so skillful snatched it away and threw it toward me. I manage to catch the ball in mid –leap before tearing up the field. Ashley and I tossed the ball back and forth until I was close enough to the goal to easily score a point.

The whistle for halftime blew. Clay waved his arm for us to together around him.

"We're one one…we need to score some points this half. Ashley, when you can pass the ball to the outer edges; they don't cover well. Spencer, Emily, I want you to be on the outside waiting for Ashley. If it doesn't look like you're open, draw attention to yourself. Carmen, you'll be backing Ashley," Clay said. My eyes widened; he did the exact thing he said he wouldn't. He looked over at me before taking Carmen aside. From their conversation was able to make out 'Ashley', 'out of the game', 'off the team', and 'forever.' My guess was that he just gave her the lecture that if she laid one finger on Ashley, she would be out of the game and of the team and would not be able to return for senior year. I grabbed Emily as she was passing me.

"Emily," I said pulling her aside. She just looked at me; it was more of a glare really.

"What do you want Spencer," she said.

"I don't know how much you know or even what you know, but I'm sorry."

"So no hurting Ashley," she said questioningly.

"I wouldn't lay one finger on her, but I'm not sure about Carmen, and I'm on the outside. I can't protect her if anything happens," I told her honestly.

"Carmen…you're dating that freak," she said laughing, before getting serious, "I'll make sure that Carmen doesn't get to Ashley. You just focus on getting the ball okay?" she said holding out her hand as act of apology accepted. I gratefully took it.

We lined up on the field. The referee blew her whistle and dropped the ball. Just as the Clay had predicted the other team didn't guard the outside lines very well and Emily and I were able to slip through them pretty easily and score a few points. After a while the team figure out what we were going, but was too late in the game to make a comeback. Carmen didn't end up beating the crap out of Ashley. She did manage to get a few stick hits in, before Emily went roaring up to her bashed her over the head with her pocket, but made it look like a complete accident. We ended up winning 5-2. It was an undefeated season for the King High Knights; the first undefeated season in the last eight years. It was all because of Ashley.

"Clay," I called out to him as we got off the bus," I wanted to say thanks for earlier. I should have said something early or not have gone through with it. It was a huge mistake; I'm such a bad person. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me."

"Spencer, you know I'd do anything for you. Yes, it was an awful idea and I can't believe that you would ever think of doing something like that, but we all make bad decisions in our lives. But you realized that it was wrong, so that count for something. You're a good person Spencer, don't doubt yourself." I engulfed him in a hug. Clay had always been there for me. He was the one who backed my up when I came out to my parents a few years ago. They kicked me out, so I went and stayed with him for a while before they realized that they had made a huge mistake. He was the one who had a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.

"Ashley," I said following her to her car. She turned around to face me.

"Spencer," she said putting her bag in the car.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, and if there is anyone to blame, it's me," I said leaning up against my face to face her.

"It's okay. We all make bad choices. I've made a few myself. We're all flawed somehow," she said coming closer to me.

"But you're perfect," I said turning so that we were face to face.

"I'm more flawed that anyone," she said looking up at the sky.

"How could you be flawed," I said pointing at her. It's true how could she be flawed.

"There's a lot you don't know about me Spencer," she said pushing herself off the car.

"I want to know. I want to know all about you," I said pulling her closer to me again.

"Maybe some other time," she said pulling away. I watched her get into her car and drive away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter. Sorry that this one is so short; it sort of just worked out this way. Next chapter will be up sooner, because this one is so short. Anyways, I hope that you enjoy. Let me know what you think. Most of you hate Spencer now, but I promise you Spencer and Ashley get their acts together in the next couple of chapters. Read and review!**

I hadn't talked to Spencer much; in fact we spent most of the winter not talking. Not that I didn't enjoy the kiss, because I did very much, but I still need to figure things out. I don't think that I was ready to date anyone. I still have this guilt feeling that if I date anyone that I'll lose Madison, forever. Right now I can't afford to do that. It's been hard not talking to Spencer, I mean we share a lab bench together in physics. I guess that Spencer realized that I was trying to figure things out, because our conversations became less frequent. If we were to talk to each other it would either be about practice or school. I miss talking to her.

I saw her everyday after school, because we had All-Star practice during the winter, and then spring came along and now we see each other everyday after school. It's been a good two months that I've actually had a real conversation with her. Ashley Davies get your shit together. I was still a little angry about what Spencer did, but we all must forgive at some point. It was almost Summer, even though we were only four weeks into our season. In four weeks Spencer and I would be going to Seattle for the All-Stars tournament.

I noticed that Spencer was sitting alone in the quad reading one of her textbook.

"_You're going to go over there now Ashley and your going to talk to her. She didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. Now get your ass over there and talk to her," _Madison shouted. I took a deep breath and made my way over to Spencer.

"Hey," I said standing in front of her.

"Hi," she said pulling out her ear buds.

"How are you?" I asked sitting down next to her.

"I'm good, just trying to get ready for finals, ya know," she said lifting up her history book, "What about you? How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. I wanted to say that I'm sorry everything."

"I'm sorry too."

"I miss this," I said motion between us, "I miss talking to you. I was a complete ass for just dropping off the face of the earth."

"I get it, what I did was wrong, kissing you, trying to get rid of you. You needed time to think about it. I deserve this, but I'm glad that we're talking."

"This kiss wasn't wrong," I blurted out. Damn it Ashley, you need to think before you talk.

"What?" she said surprised.

"This kiss wasn't wrong," I repeated, "we all have those instinct. You kissed me, and I kissed you back, and to be truthfully honest, it was something that I've never felt before. It was reviving, like I was brought back to life."

"I thought that was why you weren't talking to me," she said still surprised.

"Not talking to you was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do."

"Then why did you do it," she asked frustrated.

"Because if I didn't I would have jumped into something that I'm not ready for. I would date you in a heartbeat, if I could. But I can't because I don't want to risk losing Madison. Spencer I like you, I really do, but I'm not ready to be with someone, and you're dating Carmen."

"Carmen and I aren't together," Spencer said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in that way," I said pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Ashley, I really like you. I was the one being insensitive. I knew what you were going through, and I still kissed you. But I'm not going to hide that I have feelings for you," she said placing a hand on mine, "I'm willing to wait."

"I'm not going to hide my feelings for you either, but now I can't have feelings until I figure things out."

"I understand," Spencer said with a hint of sadness.

_"__You just blew it," _Madison said.

"I don't to continue this silence," I began, "it kills me every minute not talking to you. But if you're willing to wait, maybe we could start again as friends?"

"I'd like that a lot," Spencer said giving a small smile.

I woke up to my brother jumping on my bed. I was somewhat just to his company in the morning. It was a better way to wake up than that damn alarm clock. I had managed to make it through finals, and junior year. It was officially summer, except that I had All-Stars in a few weeks, which was a two-week long tournament, and training hasn't been easy. It used to cross over Knight's practice and double practice was awful. Spencer and I are finally on speaking terms again. It couldn't get better, and the fact that I got to kiss Spencer; life sucked. Don't get me wrong the kiss was amazing, but when I was kissing her, all I could think about was Madison and how if I decided to have a relationship with Spencer I might lose her. I wasn't ready for that. I love Spencer, but I just want a platonic relationship like I have with Emily. I think that Spencer got the hint, because she started to pretend like the kiss never happened. I was grateful that she didn't bring it up.

Practice went the same as usual. Run a mile, drills, pick-ups, scrimmages, one on two, two on two…etc. I didn't get to talk to Spencer a lot during practice and she wasn't home very often because she worked as lacrosse coach for younger children. I on the other hand had to drive my brother around to anywhere that he wanted to be driven. Most of the time he wanted to go hang out with Noah. So I ended up spending the first part of my summer chilling with Emily.

I occasionally ran into Spencer during my evening runs, and would stop to see how the coach was.

I had just finished with one of my evening runs, when my mother came into my room and handed me the phone. I glanced at it and recognized the collar I.D.

"Hello?"

"Hey! How's my little All-Star?"

"I'm good dad. How about you?"

"Been pretty busy. I just signed another record deal," he said happily. Yeah, my dad was one of the music people. I guess you could say that I was one of those music people. He taught me how to play the guitar when I was ten, but I stopped playing since Madison's death.

"Anyways, I was thinking that maybe after your All-Star game you would want to come back to California and spend some time with your pops," he said hopefully. I hadn't seen him since the move. Yes, both of my parents are still married. My father couldn't make the move with us because his job demanded too much at the time, but I hope he will soon.

"I'd love to," I replied with some enthusiasm. To be honest I was a little uneasy about going back to California. I would be faced with all the memories of the accident, Madison's parents, and her brother, Aiden. I don't know if I was ready for that, but I couldn't tell my father 'no'.

"Alright! I can't wait to see my little girl soon. I hope that you haven't forgotten how to ride the waves!"

"I would never forget that!" I laughed back. It was nice talking to my dad. His voice was so calming.

"You better not! I'll see you in a few weeks sweetheart. Love you," he said through the phone.

"I love you too," I said before I hung up the phone. Four weeks with my recorded start dad. I can't wait.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! I'm back with another chapter! Spencer and Ashley have started to rekindle their relationship. I tried to do my best to make that happen in this chapter; let me know if it too fast paced or you don't like it or if you liked it or if you have suggestions for the next chapter! Love to hear what you guys think! I hope that you enjoy this next chapter. **

I gathered my bags from the baggage claim area. Our team as just arrived at the Seattle airport, and of course it was raining. The plane ride over was pretty nice; I just relaxed, while Spencer slept sweetly on my shoulder.

We piled onto the bus. Spencer sat down next to me. The head coach, Coach Merit, called out names for attendance. Spencer and I shouted 'present' when our names were called. After all the names had been called we started towards the hotel that was hosting the athletes. It was a Four Seasons. Merit had roomed us alphabetically, so of course Spencer and I were rooming together. We were on the top floor. There were two twin beds and a fridge and microwave. Our windows looked out on the lit up city of Seattle. It was an unforgettable view.

I tossed my bag on the floor and collapsed onto the bed. I heard Spencer chuckle as she set her bag on the bed and started unpacking her belongings. She carefully organized her things before tossing her suitcase aside. There was a knock on the door; I was too lazy to get up so Spencer answered the door. A few minutes later she came back carrying two duffel bags. She tossed one and me and set hers on her bed. I quickly unzipped mine and found the Ohio All-Star team uniform. I didn't even bother to unpack it; I just threw it on the floor. Spencer walked over to my bed and laid down on the other half.

"So…" I heard her say, "what are we going to?"

"I don't really know," I replied, "we can't really leave."

"Are you doing anything after this?"

"I'm going back to California to spend a little time with my dad before senior year starts," I said sitting up, "you?"

"I want to go to California. My mothers dragging me to all the colleges that scouted me."

"Which are?" I asked curiously.

"USNA, West Point, Penn State, John Hopkins, and some other ones I can't remember…"

"USNA and West Point huh?" I didn't like the thought of Spencer in the forces, but then again Spencer could definitely kick some army or navy butt.

"Yeah, I'm leaning towards USNA. I don't think I would survive boot camp for the army," she said chuckling, "What about you?"

"UNC, Ohio State, Boston College, USNA, and UPENN," I said starting to unpack my things.

"And?"

"I don't know yet. I really want to go to UNC, but BC also sounds really tempting."

"I'm sure you'll make the right choice," she said.

We talked for, I don't know how long, mainly about pointless things. Like who we were playing, strategies, and other things. A person came up and told us that dinner was ready down in one of the dining rooms. The room was full of all the other teams from across the country. We sat next to a team from California, and it made me think of Madison. She would have loved to be here, playing lacrosse was her favorite thing in the world. She was the one who taught me how to be the player that I am today.

The dinner was pasta and some other vegetable and sides. We listened to the coaches give talks and other things like that. It was really boring. A few hours later we were let go; Spencer and I returned to our room. I was exhausted from the travel, talking, listening, everything. All I wanted to do was sleep.

"Ashley?" I heard Spencer voice through the dark room, "are you asleep?"

"No," I replied. I was a little annoyed, but it was Spencer and I could never be mad at her.

"Can I ask you something…personal?"

"Um…" I choked a little, "sure."

"What happened to your girlfriend?" she asked. I knew that she wanted to know more, because all I really told her was 'she passed.'

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that," she said taking it back.

"It's fine Spencer," I said sitting up and leaning against the headboard, "she killed by a drunk driver."

"Had you too been together long?"

"Three years," I replied. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I sniffled a little, before crying. I heard Spencer get off her bed and felt her sit down next to me.

"You were in the car weren't you?" I nodded my head. How did she know? I didn't tell her? She is really good as reading people.

"I'm so sorry Ashley," she said taking me into her arms. She was so warm, so comforting, so loving. Her lips pressed gently on my fore head before resting her hand against mine.

The rays of sunshine hit my face. I stirred a little and noticed that were was an odd, yet comforting, sense at my side. I turn my head and Spencer is quietly sleeping in the crook of my neck. I gently maneuver her head onto the pillow without waking her.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. I was different. I was still scarred and marked, but I was different. A good different. A new me.

I finished changing, when I reappeared in the room Spencer was back on her bed, already dressed, skimming through the TV channels.

"Morning," I said happily taking a seat on my bed.

"Sleep well?" she asked not taking her eyes away from the TV.

"I think it's one of the best nights of sleep that I've ever gotten," I replied with a smile. I could see Spencer's lip turn up into a smile.

We loaded the bus about an hour later and headed toward the arena. There were four fields in the complex, made everything go a lot faster. We found our area with the big word "Ohio" written above it in green. Let the games begin.

We were into the second week of the games. We made into the semifinals, which didn't shock me because our team was beast. On Friday were going to the finals, against North Carolina. Time to see what you're made of, I guess.

My dad did turn up during the second week. We planned to have dinner today, which I was looking forward to a lot. I hadn't seen him a few months. It would be good to get some father –daughter time in, you know.

"Spencer," I called from the bathroom.

"What?" I heard her call back. I emerged from the bathroom in my shorts and sports bra.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow after the game?" she shook her head and went back to watching the TV. "Do you want to come to dinner with me?"

"Dinner?"

"Yeah with me and my dad," I continued.

"It's okay. I don't want to ruin your time with him," she said.

"Spencer, I want you to come! I want you to meet him," I said pleading, hoping that she would come.

"I don't know Ash; I don't have anything nice to we-"

"It's okay we aren't going anyway fancy. I promise. I'm just wearing shorts and a shirt."

"Are you sure that I won't be intruding on your family time?" she asked, double-checking to make sure.

"Absolutely not, please come," I responded.

"Count me in!" she said happily. I my head I was dancing, but outside I was just playing it cool the Davies style.

"Push it up the field Davies," I heard Coach Merit yell from the sidelines. I quickly maneuvered and flung the ball towards Spencer. She was literally inches away form scoring before a big beefy girl knocked her off her feet.

I watched as Spencer got up to her feet, and gave the other player a mean glare. The referee gave the other team a penalty for foul play.

"You okay?" I asked running up to Spencer's side.

"Yeah, just a little startled," she said brushing the grass off her uniform.

The game continued. We scored a few more goals. Eventually the other team decided that they were going to give up because there was no chance that they were going to make any sort of comeback. It was a good day for Spencer and I. Even though were didn't make the All-Star Champion, both Spencer and I were awards the 'Double Trouble' award, or as some other people refer to it as the 'Dangerous Duo.'

After the game Spencer and I took turns in the bathroom to get ready for dinner tonight with my dad. Like I said, it was casual; I wore tan short and a blue shirt. Spencer didn't feel to bad when she came out wearing skirt and a lacy top.

We met my dad in the lobby a few minutes later. He had decided to take us to some pizza place that he had read about. It was a small little joint. We ordered a large cheese pizza and took a seat at one of the booths.

"So Spencer, tell me about yourself," my dad said taking off his jacket.

"Well, I guess you already know that I play lacrosse, been playing since I was a little kid. I have two brothers. Our coach at King in my older brother, Clay and my other brother, Glen was a sergeant in the Marine Corps."

"Marine Corps eh? Interesting!"

"Yeah he got discharged a year ago," Spencer replied.

"What's he doing now?"

"Nothing really, works in the hospital," she replied simply before changing the topic, "so Ashley tells me you're in the music business."

"I am indeed, just signed a new band a few weeks ago," he said cheerfully.

"That's amazing," I heard Spencer say, "so is Ashley a music fanatic like you?"

"Sadly no. She enjoys sports more, but every once in a while I see her pick up her guitar and write a song," my father replied. I felt myself beginning to blush a little, because I was in fact writing a song, about Spencer.

We ate our pizza in quite. I could feel Spencer gaze on me every once in a while, but she would always turn away when I looked. When we finished my father paid for the meal and walked out to the car. I asked for a few minutes with Spencer before I left her for the rest of the summer. He just smiles and nodded and said that he was going to go get some things before we leave.

"I can't believe you're going to be gone for the summer," Spencer said walking around the little park next to the restaurant.

"Its only four weeks," I replied trying to reassure her. She just made a face at me.

"Well, you're coming out to look at colleges right?" I asked her. She nodded. "Well then I'm come meet you somewhere or something." Spencer's face lit up and she did a little happy dance. I felt myself laugh a little before swinging an arm around Spencer's shoulder.

We sat down at the base of the tree. Spencer rested her back against my chest and I rested my back against the tree. It seemed perfect; something that I had always imagined.

"You're dad's pretty cool," I heard her say into the air, "I had an amazing time tonight."

"I did do," I sighed. I was regretting that I would be leaving Spencer for the rest of the summer, but I would see her soon.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Spencer said snuggling closer to me.

"Why did you go along with Carmen's plan?"

"Freshman year we were the only ones who made it onto the varsity team. We were both shocked because neither of us were that good. The coach before Clay told us that we had to keep up our performances to stay on varsity. I guess the first things that click into our brains were to do anything you need to do to be the best. Our coach admired what we did and being the stupid little freshman we did what the coach wanted us to do and what we thought was right. That continued until this year when Clay took over and I got to know you."

"You got to know me?" I questioned.

"You. When I first noticed that you're name was posted I knew that we would be completing for top player. You were different from all the other players that I had met before. You play for a purpose. Most people join because they have nothing to do or their parents want them to be able to put it on colleges or something or they are playing for the #1 title, like Carmen and I. But you, you're different. You play with feeling. You're always there to help any player on the field, to help out at practice; no one on this team is like that. Everything Carmen and I did, you just got right back up and continued; you fought. How?"

"Madison. She was the first one that handed me a stick and threw a ball in my face. I hated it at first; I didn't understand the concept of cradling, catching, and throwing. Then I started to fall in love with her, and I decided to try again. She helped me to become the player that I am today. I play because of Madison. My purpose is Madison. Lacrosse is the only thing that I have left where Madison is with me. She taught me patience, compassion, dedication, and balance. Every time I go out onto the field, I sensed her there next to me, watching over me."

Spencer turned around to face me. Her eyes were fixated on mine. They were a sharp piercing blue, but calming and loving.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like. One minute you feel like they are right next to you and the next they just vanish into thin air, like the never existed. It takes a while to realize that they are truly gone."

I wanted to ask her how she knew. Did she know someone who died? An aunt maybe?

"I'm glad I met you Spencer Carlin," I said pulling her into a tight hug, "I don't think that I would have gotten through this year without you."

"You're a truly amazing person Ashley Davies," she whispered into my ear. I shuttered as her warm breath made contact with my ear.

Spencer pulled away, but this time the color of her eyes had changed. They were the ocean's blue anymore; they were a dark lustful blue. She licked her lips and her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips.

_"__I won't be angry Ashley, so stop thinking that I will be," I heard Madison's voice out of nowhere, "I know that you have feelings for her Ashley. Stop thinking that if you fall in love with her you'll hurt me. You've never hurt me before. Kiss her."_

I felt my body start to close the gap between us. Spencer's lips were soft and gentle. I could taste the strawberries that we had for dessert on her lips, so delicious. Spencer's hands found their way to the back of my neck. I wrapped mine around hers and pulled her in closer. The kiss was magical. There was a spark, something that I had never experienced even with Madison.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys. I'm back with another chapter! SO recapping...Ashley went back to Cali for the rest of the summer where everything happened (Madison). I included some flashback and more 'ghost' Madison. I know that it is also kind of early, but I'm thinking about writing a sequel. WHat do you guys think? Yes, no, maybe?**

**Any who! I hope you guys like this chapter, you get to see a bit of Ashley's back story. **

_"__We have a heartbeat!" _

_"__BP levels stabilizing!"_

_"__She's back!"_

_"__Hey," I heard a gentle voice in the distance. Eyes slowly fluttered open. A female face began to come into focus in front of me. She had a smile on her face and was wearing a scrub cap. _

_"__Ashley, can you hear me?" I tried to talk, but there was something preventing me. There was tube in my throat. I started to panic and start to gag. _

_"__Ashley, I need you to relax, breath through your nose. Ashley, relax," the doctor said in a calm voice. I tried to calm my breathing as much as I could, but I was scared. The doctor was smiling and nodding her head. _

_"__You're doing great Ashley. Just keep breathing okay. Keep your eyes on me." She motioned for the doctors to continue what they were doing. I felt a little prick below my ribcage. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes on the doctor, but I knew that they were doing surgery on me. Anything could happen at any moment. I don't know how long I was staring at her, before the doctors told her that they were done. _

_"__You did great Ashley. You are one of the strongest patients I've ever meet," she said, "we are going to move you to post-op to keep on eye on you, but for now just rest."_

_I felt my eyes lids beginning to droop. They must have put something in my IV. _

_It was dark outside when I woke in my room. Glancing around the room, I noticed that I was alone. Pulling myself up, I felt a pain in my chest. _

_ "__Whooo, there. Take it easy," I heard someone say from the doorway. It was the doctor from the operating room. She walked around and helped me sit up carefully. "How are you feeling?"_

_ "__A little drowsy. What happened?"_

_ "__You were in a car crash."_

_ "__No, in the operating room."_

_ "__You coded, but we were able to bring you back."_

_I pulled at the neck of my shirt and glanced down. I noticed a strip of gauze running my ribcage. _

_ "__You had a punctured diaphragm and a few broken ribs from the crash, but we fixed that too."_

_ "__What about my girlfriend? Is she okay?" I asked desperately praying that she was okay. _

_ "__She's in ICU now," the women said. _

_ "__But is she okay?"_

_ "__We won't know until she wakes up."_

_ "__Wakes up?"_

_ "__She's in a medically induced coma at the moment. We won't know anything until she is able to respond on her own."_

_ "__I want to see her," I said as I started to try to get up again._

_ "__You will, but you can't now," she said pushing me back down. _

_ "__Madison…" I felt the tears stream down my face. _

I felt the car door slam next to me, shaking me from my thoughts. I glanced over to the driver's side and noticed that my dad had just gotten out of the car. He came around to my side and opened the door for me. I carefully got out and grabbed my bags from the back. The house was just the same when we left. All the memories started flooding back to me. On the porch I could picture Madison waving and smile at me. It made me smile but at the same time it reminded me of what I had lost.

"Hey," I heard my dad say coming up from behind me, "I know it must be hard."

"It is, but I can't keep running from this. I have to face it." When Madison passed away, I couldn't stand to be in the house. Sometime I wouldn't even come home. In the summer I spent every hour somewhere besides my house. I had trouble facing what had happened. I finally understood why my mother had decided to move. It was for me to have a better life.

I drop my bags off in the living room before wandering. I walked out into the neighborhood and strolled along the roads. Some of the neighbors recognized me and waved. I had a few conversations with some of them.

I stopped when I reached an all too familiar house, Madison's. I stood there staring at the cheery red door.

_"__They would love to see you Ashley," Madison said coming up next to me,_

"But what if they don't want to see me. What if they don't forgive me for all the pain that I have caused them?"

"_Trust me Ashley. They have forgiven you, but have you forgive yourself."_

"I want to, but every time I do, I flashback to the moment where you were lying in the hospital bed. "

_"__Every day I was there I watched my parents suffer. But, I'm at peace now. I have accepted that and so has my family. Do this for me?"_

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before starting towards the door. 'For Madison' I repeated myself as I rapped my knuckles on the wood door. The sound echoed throughout the house. A few moments later I heard footstep coming closer. I braced myself for what was about to happen next. The door opened and woman appeared in the frame. Her skin was a dark tan and her hair was a dark brown and her features were similar to Madison. The frown on her face was replaced with a soft smile. Her arms engulfed me in a warm hug.

"Cariño," she said softly, "It's good to see you."

"Mrs. Duarte, I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner."

"It's alright dear. We all handle things differently; I'm just glad that you came back. Do you have time to come in?" I nodded and she led me into the house. It was the almost the same from the last time that I was in it. I took a seat on the couch.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"Water would be nice, thank you." My eyes scanned the room as Sofia went to get the drinks. My eye caught a picture on the mantle piece. I ran my fingers over the glass frame. Madison's face stared back at me. I traced the outline of her face trying to remember what it felt like. I heard Sofia's footsteps coming back into the room. I quickly put the picture back and returned to the couch. Sofia settled in the chair across from me before handing me a glass of water.

"How have you been?" she asked taking a sip of her water.

"Good, although coming back here has brought back a lot of memories," I replied shifting in my seat.

"It's rough, coming back to a place that was your home for so many years, after an accident like that."

"I was going to come here after the funeral, but I thought that you…"

"That we wouldn't forgive for what happened?" I nodded.

"Ashley…you have nothing to be sorry for. You did everything right. You took care of my daughter. You loved my daughter more than anyone I have ever met. You showed her a new life. You were there when she left this amazing world that you created for her. Every life is paved for us, we don't know what obstacles we might run into or when that paved road stops. Madison's road was a short road, but full of adventure. You have nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for."

"You know sometimes I can see Madison," I said, "standing right in front of me, telling me what to do."

"She's a part of you; you will always have a part of her heart, of her soul." I felt at lump in my throat. I have a part of Madison. She is a part of me. I am a part of her. She will always have a bit of my heart, but it's time that I let my heart carry me towards someone else.

When I got home, I walked up the stair to my old room. Everything was just the way that I had left it. The picture of Madison still hung on the walls, my bed was neatly made, and my old guitar lay in the corner of the room. I let my fingers run over the dusty wood of the guitar. My fingertips began to strum the strings.

_Sometimes, I see you _

_A face in the crowd_

_Walking into my dreams_

_Calling out loud _

_Sometimes I forget_

_That you've gone away_

_I wake in the sunshine_

_To a cold and crying day_

_Sometimes I hold you_

_But only in my dreams _

_Then I wake up and find you've gone_

_Sometimes I follow_

_Down the grassy fields _

_Following your footsteps _

_That never go away_

_Sometimes I hear you laughter in my ear_

_But I know that I can't see you_

_You're not there at all_

_Sometimes I hold you close_

_Kissing your sleeping head_

_But only in my dreams _

_When I forget you're gone _

_(ADAGIO)_

_"__That's the first time in a while since I have seen you pick up your guitar and actually play something," Madison said taking a seat next to me. _

"It's the first time that I have felt like playing in forever," I replied staring at the guitar.

_"__I saw you writing a song about Spencer," she said lying back on the bed._

"You see everything," I said setting the guitar back on the stand.

_"__It's because I am a part of you," she said._

"Because I loved you," I replied.

_"__Ashley, you were the most loving, caring, honest person that I have every met. You created a new world for me, and you were there when I had to say 'goodbye' to it. I miss you Ashley, more than ever. But they've treated me pretty well up there. All I want from you is to move on, please. I don't want to you spend the rest of you're thinking of all that things that you could have done, when a perfect opportunity is right in front of you with a person that you care about."_

"Spencer…" I let out.

_"__Yes, Spencer. She cares about you Ashley more than you know."_

"She kissed me and I kissed her," I said turning towards Madison.

_"__And….?"_

"It felt right, for some reason. I had no shame or regret. It was just me and her and it felt…perfect…"

_"__You're meant to be," Madison said sitting up._

"But what about you?"

_"__I'm not a reason in this anymore. Even though I can see you and talk to you, that shouldn't stop you from wanting to be with someone else. Yes we were in love Ashley, but that love isn't tangible anymore. These feeling that you have for Spencer they are real, tangible. There in the now, but I am in the past."_

"If I'm with Spencer…what happens to you?"

_"__I'll still be here when you need me."_

"I miss you Madison, but I think that you're right. Maybe it is time for me to take a step forward."

_"__I'll be with you every step."_

"Ashley, are you talking to someone in there?" I heard my dad ask though my closed door.

"No just talking to myself," I said opening the door. My dad peered into my room to make sure that there was no one in my room.

"Okay well dinner's ready," he said before heading down the stairs. I followed him into the kitchen where he had prepared his famous shipwreck dish. We had a quiet evening after dinner. We threw in a movie and sat on the couch and eat popcorn and ice cream. We talked about colleges, lacrosse, school, and every other thing that we could think of. I missed my dad not being in Ohio with us, but hopefully by the end of this year he will have moved his recorded company into Cleveland.

It was around 10 o'clock when I decided to retire to my room. My dad had already when to bed, since he had work tomorrow with the band that he signed. I started to unpack my things from my bag when my phone starting vibrating against the nightstand. My lips curled into a smile when I read the caller I.D.

"Hello?"

"Ashley! Hey sorry I hope that I didn't wake you or anything," I heard Spencer's voice on the other end.

"Nope, I was just unpacking a few things."

"So how is it, being back in your hometown," she asked.

"It's good. It brings back a lot of good memories, but also the ones that I try not to remember."

"What I did was I thought of all the positive memories that we had together, all the good times that we share, because there are more of those then there are bad."

"Thanks! I think being here, even if I have been only a few days, it has helped me come to terms with what has happened."

"Every little step counts," Spencer's reassuring voice echo throughout my ear.

"Shouldn't you be in bed," I asked looking at my watch.

"Well I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming out to look at UCLA at the end of the summer and I was hoping maybe we could see each other," she asked questioningly.

"Of course, I'd love to see you," I said calmly through the phone, trying to contain my happiness.

"Great! I can't wait, maybe you can show me around a little."

"Maybe…if you're good," I joked.

"Then you won't see me if I'm naughty." I burst into laughter. I could hear Spencer quickly laughing in the background. Spencer and I talked for another hour before I could hear her yawning.

I fell back onto my bed. My memories floated back to the first time that I had laid eyes on Spencer, in all her beauty.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys here the next chapter! I tried to get more of an Ashley-Madison family connection in here, let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

It had been a few weeks since I got here. Usually I sleep late into the morning but today I awoke to the laughter of my father. I rolled over closing my eyes not wanting to wake up. It was too early to wake up…11am. I slowly pulled myself out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt over my sports bra. When I got down to the kitchen I could hear my father talking to someone. I couldn't make out the voice of the other man, but it sounded somewhat familiar. When I rounded the corner Aiden was sitting at the counter talking with my dad. The first thing I did when I caught his eye was jump into his arms and hug him. He chuckled and said a quick 'nice to see you too Ashley.' Aiden had been like the second brother that I never had. He went off to college when Madison and I were sophomores, but when we had time to kill we were always hitting the waves. Sid took Aiden's spot after he left.

"Morning sweetheart," my dad said coming over and giving me a kiss on the head while ruffling my hair. "Aiden dropped by to see if you wanted to hit the waves this afternoon."

"Are you kidding me! Of course I want to!" I said happily giving Aiden another hug.

We sat down and eat the breakfast that my dad had made. I listened to all the stories that Aiden had to tell. Some of them were pretty interesting, especially when it got to the topic of frat party and drunken idiots. I missed being around him; herreminded me so much of Madison and Sid, and one of the best guy friends that I could have ever asked for. When Madison died he was the only one that didn't lash out of me during the first days. He was standing by my side comforting me, telling me that it wasn't my fault.

"So how have you been," he said taking a seat on my bed.

"I've been okay," I let out taking a seat next to him, "I met with your parents yesterday."

"They've wanted you to come see them for a while, but when you moved they thought that they would never see you again."

"I didn't think that I was ever going to come back, well I'd come back only for my dad. But, now I'm glad that I came back. For the longest time I thought that your parents were never going to forgive me for hurting her, so we ran, I ran."

"Ashley, you know that my parents love you very much. They would always forgive you know matter what you did; it just took a little longer. They've come to terms with Madison not being there anymore. I've come to terms with my sister no being here. You've come to terms that the one you love you can never hold again. It's time."

"It scares me. Madison's in my dreams, I can see her, I can talk to her, but then I realize that she's not there. I'm afraid to come to terms. I'm afraid that if I let her go she's never wander into my dreams, I'll never see her or talk to her again. But every time I see her she keeps telling me to take a step forward."

"Maybe it's a sign that you should take a step," Aiden said glancing over at me. It is time for me to take the step that I've feared, but one thing I know is that I will allows have Aiden, Sid, my father, my mother, and Spencer.

We pulled over on the side road and pulled out gear out. The walk to the hidden cove was about a mile, but it was worth is for the waves and the view. I laid down my towel and bag and started putting on my wetsuit. The last time that I had been here was when Madison's parents found that we were a couple; we stayed out here for a few days. They were the most memorable memories I had.

"You still remember what you're doing?" Aiden joked as he grabbed his board. I gave him a 'are you serious' look before following him. I was a little rusty at first, catching my edge in the water, but I was able to redeem myself. The waves were so calm, yet violent. They were the perfect height, the perfect speed, the perfect everything. I watched as Aiden's board sliced through the water. He had improved since the last time I saw him. He was able to get some nice air. I was only able to get about half as much air as he did, but it still felt good to ride the waves.

"So how's Ohio treating you?"

"It's different…" I replied shoving my board into the sand.

"Different in a good way or a bad way?"

"Good way, I guess. It's small, smaller than here. You really get to know the people, their story. It feels more at home than here, but I miss it here because my dad's here and you and your parents," I said taking a seat next to Aiden on the towel.

"I get it. After Madison passed and I had to go back to college, it felt like a whole different world, college didn't feel like college anymore. It felt like a stranger's world I was living in. Home was where I wanted to be, but I wanted to be close to Madison.

"So what did you do?"

"I took the step, and told myself to keep moving on," he said letting out a sigh before lying down to face the sun. There was silent between us as we lay there tanning. When I turned over to see if Aiden wanted to leave, I noticed that he was quietly snoring. I decided to leave him there and take a walk along the cove's beach.

The cool water grazed my feet as it inched towards me. I took a seat at the end of the sand. The water reached half way up my leg before receding. The breeze ruffled my hair. The salty smell of ocean filled my nostrils. The sunset view plastered my eyes.

_"__I miss coming here," Madison said taking a seat next to me._

"It feels so different without you," I said turning to face her.

_"__So are you out here to think?" she asked taking some sand in her hands. _

"You could say that. I guess I'm just trying to figure some things out."

_"__It's about what my brother said isn't it," she said. _I felt her hand graze mine, but when I looked down it was just the breeze rustling the hairs on hand.

"I want to take the step," I let out. There was a long silence before I heard her say anything. When I glanced over at her she was smiling at me.

_"__I'm proud of you Ashley," she said. _I faintly saw a tear stream down her cheek. I wanted to reach out and wipe it away, but I was afraid that my hand would go right through.

"So what happens to you when I take the step?"

"_You will have come to terms with everything that has happened. I'll still be here right next to you, when you need me, but I won't be here like I am now. Are you willing to let that happen?"_

"Yes, but I still need your guidance."

_"__And you'll always have it. I'll always be here to give you a hand. You'll never lose me. But I think that it is time to move on from everything that we had and create a new life with someone else."_

"Spencer…" I breathed out. Madison smiled and nodded her head.

_"__I've seen the connect between the two of you; it's stronger than any other relationship that I have ever seen. Spencer cares so much about you, and you care so much about Spencer. Go for it Ashley, let your heart carry you."_

"I love you Madison," I said turning to her and reaching my arms around her. I felt warmth around my body as Madison's arm around my body. When we pulled apart Madison leaned in and captured my lips. It felt like I was kissing her, but I wasn't.

_"__I love you too Ashley," she said staring in my eyes, "be happy, be loving, be love, no regrets about me." _I watched as her figure slowly began to disappear until suddenly I was staring at the opposite side of the cove. I knew that would be the last time that I would ever see Madison in her entirety again. I took a deep breath before getting up and heading back towards Aiden, who was now packing up.

"You ready?" he asked. I nodded and grabbed my things. I turned around to look at the sunset view one last time before turning around and leaving.

The walk back was silent. I had decided to take the step, and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders; I felt relieved. Madison was gone; I accept that now. I will never be able to hold her, kiss her again; I accept that. She will only exist in my memories now; I accept that. It's time for me to move on, and let my heart carry me; I accept that. I'm ready for a new life, a new start.

Aiden dropped me at the house a couple of hours later. My father was down at the studio working and left me an extra car in the garage. The first thing I did was shower and then I grabbed my phone. I searched through my contacts and searched for the two that I was looking for. I hit the first and waited, a few seconds later I heard my little brother's voice on the receiver.

"Ashlwy!" he said excitedly.

"Hey! How's my little man?" I asked.

"Is good, mommy took me to see Lewgo movie with Noah," he said. I listened to him tell me all about the movie. It seemed somewhat interesting, but then again children always tend to exaggerate things.

"I miss you Ashlwy," he said stopping mid-way through his sentence.

"I miss you too Sid," I replied. I really wish that he was here so that I could sweep him into my arms and hug him like no tomorrow.

"When are you coming home?" I heard his little voice ask through the phone.

"I'll be home in a week, does that sound okay?"

"Yeah, mommy and Is have a surpwise for yous!" he shouted excitedly through the phone.

"I can't wait to see what it is."

"Is thinks you will weally like it!"

"I'm sure I will," I said as I let a smile creep onto my face. We chatted for a little longer. I tried to get him to spill the surprise but he wouldn't budge. I was a little sad when I found out that Sid wasn't going to spend the summer with us, but my father said that after I went to college I probably wouldn't be able to see him a lot, so he was taking his advantage. After I finished my call with Sid, I skimmed through and found the other contact, but before I could hit the button to call her, she called me. I waited a few seconds, but everyone knows that you shouldn't be that person that picks up after the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Ashley! Hey!" I heard Spencer's cheerful voice.

"Spencer! To what to I owe this splendid call?" I asked jokingly through the phone.

"Well I could sense that you wanted to talk to me, so here I am," she replied with a laugh. It was a little strange that I was about to call her and she just called it…awkward. Can Spencer read my mind?

"I'm always up for a good talk! So what do you want to talk about?"

"Well," she started, "I'm getting on a plane California tomorrow…" My eyes quickly glanced at the calendar hanging in my room. I had clearly marked the day that Spencer was going to be here, but I was surprised that I had forgotten.

"That's tomorrow! You're coming tomorrow!" I said excitedly. I can't believe I forgot. I guess I got tied up with dinners at the Duartes, spending time with Aiden and his family.

"Yeah, I can't wait, god, it feels like I haven't seen you in forever," she said.

"I know! Is there anything that I can do? Pick you up from the airport?" I asked rapidly.

"A ride from the airport would be nice, if you don't mind," she said shyly.

"Of course I don't mind," I said happily through the phone, "what time does your flight get in?"

"1pm give or take an hour, you never know…airplanes run on their own schedules." I chuckled, she was right. Every time I have flown the plane either arrives before time or late…never on time…never.

"Great! I'll text you when I'm at the airport and we can figure everything out from there."

"Awesome, so have anything fun planned?" she asked excitedly.

"Well I've got a few things in mind, for one you should bring a swim suit, dress, and sneakers," I said.

"Do I get to know what we are doing?" she asked.

"Nope," I said happily. I heard her whine into the phone making me laugh.

"Fine Davies, so has California been treating you well?"

"It feels like home again," I said as I relaxed against a pillow.

"I'm glad to hear that. It sounds like this has been good for you."

"It has, for the first time I've come to terms with what has happened. To be honest, it feels like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, there's no burden for me to carry around with me, like I'm free."

We continued to talk late into the night. We only decided that it was time to go to bed, when Spencer said that her flight left earlier that morning. I rest my back on the bed and the thought of Spencer coming to visit for the rest of the summer made everything in my mind continue to spin. Spencer, Aiden, Sid had all help me with the death of Madison, and now they've help me overcome this obstacle. I was free from this burden of guilt, sorrow, regret, free from everything. But when I close my eyes I can see Madison smiling back at me and I know that even though I can't see her or talk to her I know that she will always be there for me, when I need her. And now my heart is telling me to follow Spencer and see what adventures await.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! THIS IS THE CHAPTER THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR! TRUST ME I THINK THAT Y'ALL WILL LOVE THIS ONE! Thanks for all the reviews, love to know that people like this story. Right now I'm in the process of finishing this story and planning on writing a sequel, but it might be shorter than this story. Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter. This is like one of the major chapters! Hope you all like!**

I pulled into the airport parking lot and turned off the ignition. I sat there with the country music still playing in the background. In less than an hour Spencer would be in my car, with me. It was exciting, yet frightening at the same time. I was excited to see her, but scared that I might do something wrong. I forced myself to open the car door. My feet skipped towards the terminal entrance. My eyes scanned the arrivals board, Spencer's flight said on time. I found a seat near the board so that I could keep an eye on it. My mind started wandering to all the possible things that I could do with Spencer. We only had a few days together before summer was over. I started to plan out where I wanted to take Spencer. I definitely had to take Spencer out on the water, see UCLA, dinners, movies, beaches, my dad's record company, and meet the Duartes. I paused when my mind came up with that. Spencer meeting the Duartes, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. I could picture Madison in my head giving me a stern look that I was wrong.

My eyes caught that Spencer's plane had arrive and started heading toward the exit area. I waited as people started to come down the escalator, that's when I noticed her. She was wearing a light blue tee with khaki shorts. She hair hung perfectly on her shoulders. We she caught my eye her lips curled up into a brilliant smile. When she got off the escalator, I felt her engulf me in her arms. I wrapped mine around her and let out a laugh as I felt her squeeze the air out of me.

"Spencer," I said nervously as we started to attract eyes, "not that I don't love your hugs, but you're kinda hugging me to hard." She released me and her cheeks began to turn a bright red. I tried to give her a reassuring smile as I picked up her bag. We headed toward my car in the lot. She got into the passenger seat, while I put her bags in the trunk.

"So are you hungry?" I asked starting the car and pulling out of my spot.

"You have no idea. My connection was so short I didn't even have enough time to use the bathroom."

"Well you're in luck. I know this great little place," I said taking a turn out of the airport and heading to the little café near my house. The drive was mostly silent; there was some chatter about our days so far. Spencer was planning on visiting UCLA tomorrow. I wanted to drive her in but traffic was awful so I planned on showing her the bus route. After that Spencer and I had a week before we had to head back to Ohio for school.

I pulled into the small parking lot of the café. This café, you could say, was like my second home; when I wasn't at home or at Madison's or the cove, I was usually here. I quickly turned off the car and got out to get Spencer's door. We walked in and the owner of the store towards us. A smile spread across her face when she recognized me.

"Ashley Davies, I thought I was never going to see you again," she said pulling me into a warm embrace.

"It good to see you too Alice," I returned.

"Who is this," she asked point towards Spencer.

"Alice this is Spencer, a friend of mine from Ohio looking at colleges. Spencer this is Alice, the owner of this fine café," I said doing the standard introductions. Alice led us to a small table in one of the alcoves. She came back momentarily with water and some menus. Alice already knew what I wanted, but we waited for Spencer to decide. It didn't take her long and within a few minutes we had ordered.

"Seems like you know this place pretty well," she said taking a small sip of her water.

"I used to come here a lot. It was a place where I could just get away from everyone and everything."

"I wish I had a place like that," she said a little hopelessly.

"You do have a place; you just haven't found it yet."

"One day soon…" she breathed out. I shuffled my feet against the tile trying to get my nerves out.

"So do you have anything planned for today?" she asked.

"Only if you're up for it," I replied.

"After I eat, I'll be ready for about anything," she said.

"Well then I didn't really have anything planned. I was just going to show you around a little, and then when you finished looking at colleges we could do some things."

"Okay, well I would love to shown around. I've never been to a big city like this one."

Alice came over with our food. It was good to see her. I offered for her to sit with us for a small lunch, seeing as the business was pretty quiet now. I talked to her about what I had done since I left, while Spencer listened to me patiently. The lunch was delicious. Spencer claimed that it had been the best BLT sandwich that she ever eaten. I had to agree; every time I can here I ordered a BLT on rye. You will never find a better sandwich…anywhere…except here.

About an hour later we pulled up into the driveway. Spencer's eyes lit up when she saw how modern this house looked compared to our houses in Ohio.

"You live here?" she asked with her mouth still hanging open.

"Trust me this what every average house looks like. You haven't seen what rich people live in!" It's true; their houses are insane compared to mine.

"But still, you live here?"

"Yes Spencer," I said laughing, "I live here. Sorry to disappoint you." I walked by her, grabbing her bag on the way, closing her hanging mouth. She seemed to regain her senses and followed closely behind. When I opened the door and walked in, I noticed that Spencer was still standing in the doorway.

"Spencer, what are you doing?"

"I didn't want to invite myself into a house this nice," she said embarrassed.

"Spencer, you're like my best friend, you honestly think that I'm not going to let you into my house without permission." I beckoned her to come. I couldn't help but laugh as she carefully placed one foot on the floor like it was made of glass. We finally made our way upstairs to the guest bedroom, formally Sid's room. I set Spencer's bags on the chair next to the bed. As soon as she walked into the room she flung herself on the bed and curled up into a ball. It was extremely adorable to see Spencer curled up in the middle of the bed with her eyes closed and a childish grin on her face. I took a seat next to her.

"Tired?"

"You have no idea. I'm usually so awake after flights, but for some reason I'm so exhausted," she said with her eyes still closed.

"You should get some rest," I said getting up and grabbing a blanket.

"No, I shouldn't be the guest that decides to sleep," she said with a yawn.

"Spence, get some rest. Really, I don't mind it at all. Besides I have a few boring errands to run before dinner." She, thankfully, nodded and curled herself back into a ball. I draped the covers over her.

"Call me if you need anything," I said, but Spencer was already fast asleep.

I decided to clean up the place a bit. My dad had made a list of things that he needed for dinner tonight. Luckily I think that I could find everything in the general store, no need to drive all over the place trying to find paprika.

The groceries were done within the hour. When I went back to check Spencer, she was in the same spot fast asleep. I didn't have anything else to do in the house to I started to scourer the place for things to do. I filtered out the pool and cleaned it, trimmed the bushes, watered the flowers, and went for a run

It was around six o'clock when I finally ran out of things to do. Spencer was still sleeping and my dad would be home soon. I hopped into the shower to rinse off today's grime, and changed into shorts and a simple tee. When I got downstairs, my dad was already in the kitchen cooking up his famous shipwreck.

"Hey dad," I said taking a seat at the counter.

"I see you cleaned up the place a little," he said looking up from the cutting board.

"Yeah, well Spencer was a little tired, so she went to take a nap…and well I had nothing to do so…"

"Well I should have Spencer take naps more often. It's been a while since I've seen the house so clean," he said laughing a little.

"I'll be sure to let her know."

"Well dinner should be ready in an hour. I hope Spencer likes shipwreck."

"I'll go an ask. She should be awake by now."

I hopped off the stool and headed towards her room. When I glanced in I noticed that Spencer was no longer in curled up in bed. There was the distant noise of water running, so I'm assuming that she decided to take a shower. I had a little time to kill so I retreated back into my room.

I took a seat on bed and swung my feet up and down. I stopped when the back of my heel hit something hard. Getting on my hands on knee, I knelt and peered under the bed. There was a wooden box abandoned. Pulling it out from under the bed I recognized that it was the box that I kept all my sheet music in. There was music that I had written from the second grade in here. I paused when I recognized one of them. My lips curled into a smile as I remembered playing this. I grabbed my guitar and laid the music down, before I started to strum the guitar.

**Spencer's POV **

I rolled over and momentarily forgot where I was until I noticed a picture of Ashley and Sid hanging on the wall. I was in California, with Ashley, in Ashley's house. I pulled myself out of bed and surveyed my surroundings. The room was somewhat empty except for a dresser, bed, and a desk. There was another room that had a shower bath in it. I decided after a day of traveling a hot shower would do some good. I rummaged through my things and pulled out by toiletries before heading to the bathroom.

I let the hot water run over my shoulders. The hot water relieved all the stiffness building up in my muscles and allowed me for the first time just to clear my head. These past few weeks have been stressful. My mother is being a crazy woman cramming my schedules so tight that I literally haven't slept for five hours straight. She's on this thinking path that if I get all the college stuff done it will make my life easier…probably true, but this is my last summer of real freedom. I visited Glen a few times; he's doing pretty well. I only have a week left of summer left until lacrosse starts again, school starts, and college apps starts. I took a deep breath and wash it all away from my mind for the time being.

It had been half an hour before I had to pull myself out of the shower. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt before drying my hair with a towel. When I returned to the guest room, I heard some noise coming from the room across from mine. When I peered out the door I noticed that the soft noise was coming from Ashley's room. I pressed my ear to the door and I could hear a guitar play, and then an angelic voice.

_People say we shouldn't be together_

_We're too young to know about forever_

_But I say they don't know what they're talk-talk- talkin' about_

_'Cause this love is only getting stronger_

_So I don't wanna wait any longer_

_I just wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl_

_Oh_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you"'s_

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They would just be jealous of us,_

_They don't know about the up all nights_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us_

_One touch and I was a believer_

_Every kiss it gets a little sweeter_

_It's getting better_

_Keeps getting better all the time, girl_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you"'s_

_But I bet you if they only knew _

_They would just be jealous of us,_

_They don't know about the up all nights_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us_

_They don't know how special you are_

_They don't know what you've done to my heart_

_They can say anything they want_

_'Cause they don't know us_

_They don't know what we do best_

_It's between me and you, our little secret_

_But I wanna tell 'em_

_I wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you"'s _

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They would just be jealous of us,_

_They don't know about the up all nights_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right _

_Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us_

_They don't know about the things we do_

_They don't know about the "I love you"'s_

_But I bet you if they only knew_

_They would just be jealous of us,_

_They don't know about the up all nights_

_They don't know I've waited all my life_

_Just to find a love that feels this right_

_Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us_

_They don't know about us_

_They don't know about us_

I heard Ashley stop playing the guitar. I must have waited there longer than I thought because one minute the door was closed and then the next Ashley was standing in front of me.

"Spencer," she said seeming a little surprised, "how long have you been waiting out here?"

I noticed that there was a wooden box lying on the bed; it looked like there was an A and M engraved in it, most likely Ashley and Madison.

"It was beautiful," I said absent-mindedly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snoop or anything; I just heard you playing and well…"

"Thanks," she said rubbing the back of her neck, "well dinner's ready if you're hungry."

"Starving," I responded. I knew that Ashley was probably a little uncomfortable listen to her play, so I guess now was probably the best time to go with the subject change.

When we got downstairs there were two people sitting in the kitchen, Ashley's father and a man, who looked a few years older than her. Ashley obviously must have known the other man because she hugged him and they fell into simple conversation. I was a little uncomfortable standing there alone in the kitchen while everyone else was busy.

"Spencer," Ashley said beckoning me to come join them. The young man gave me a warm smile as I approached.

"Spencer this is Aiden," she said introducing me to him, "Madison's brother." I knew he resembled someone. He looked very similar to Madison, except that he was a man.

"It's nice to meet you," I said shaking his hand.

"So you're the infamous Spencer," he said with a smirk, "Ashley's told me so many stories about you." I felt the blood slowly drain from my face. What had Ashley told him, nothing embarrassing I hope? Oh my god, what if she told him something embarrassing about me. The two of them started to break out into laughter.

"Relax, it looks like you just saw a ghost," I heard Aiden say, "don't worry she hasn't told me any stories about you."

I turned to Ashley and elbowed her in the ribs, but she just kept laughing. Usually it would have bothered me that people tell stories about me. But this is Ashley Davies we are talking about, the person that I've had a major crush on. I can't have anything like that.

After the two had finally stopped laughing and Ashley's father had assured me that Ashley isn't the type of person to share embarrassing stories with people, we finally sat down and eat something amazing. Raife called it, "shipwreck". It was honestly the best thing that I have ever tasted, and what made it even better was Ashley and I had a foot fight under the table.

We said goodbye to Aiden after dinner. Raife went to bed after the dishes were done. But of course I was the idiot who took like a five-hour nap in the middle of the day so I was wide-awake.

"So…what do you think so far?" I heard Ashley say coming up behind me.

"I love it. I don't think I want to leave." I heard Ashley laugh. Her laugh was so unique.

"Well if you're still awake, we could go sit out over by the pool," she suggested.

"That's sounds great."

Ashley showed me the way out the to pool, before going back inside to grab some things. I sat at the edge of the water and let my feet dip into the water. Ashley came back shortly with a bottle of something, two classes, food of some sort, and towels/blankets. She set the things beside me and took and seat. It was a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Sorry I didn't know if you wanted to or not," she said pointing at the bottle.

"Why not," I replied. I usually didn't drink unless I went to parties, but considering that I haven't gone to any all summer and my mother has been a stick up my ass, I think I want to.

"You don't have to. I don't want it to seem like I'm pressuring you or anything."

"Ashley, seriously, relax. I could use a drink after the week that I've had," I said taking the bottle from her hands. The whiskey burned a little going down. I took another swig before handing it back to Ashley, who took a few swigs.

"You and Aiden seem pretty close."

"Yeah, we became close through Madison. His kind of like my second brother. When Madison passed away he was the only one that stood by my side." I was a little confused when Aiden was the only one standing by her side. Usually people only say that it they have done something wrong. Did Ashley have something to do with Madison's death?"

We had downed about half the bottle of Jack Daniels before we decided that we should stop. I circled my feet in the water deciding whether to ask Ashley what had happened to Madison.

"Spencer, just ask," Ashley said staring at the water.

"What?"

"You want to know what happened to Madison, don't you ?" I was a little surprised that she knew what I was thinking, but I nodded my head. I could tell that Ashley had had a little too much to drink because she started to slur her words a little, but I guess I was pretty drunk too.

"It was a pretty good day so far. We got up early to go to surf and play a little lacrosse. And then we went to tell her mother that we weren't actually friends, but that we were dating. Her dad and Aiden already knew, but we all knew that her mother would flip shit when she found out. Well she flipped shit and kicked us out of the house. I knew that all this was going to happen, so I took her to back to the beach to watch the sunset. That song that you heard me play early, I wrote that for her. It was one of the most memorable nights I ever had. A few hours later we got a phone calling saying that Madison's mother had calmed down and was ready for us to come home. Madison was the happiest person that I had ever seen. On the way home we were stopped at a red light. A drunk driver ran into the back of us and pushed us into the path of a semi."

"I'm so sorry Ashley," I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling towards me.

"Don't be," she said taking in a shaky breath, "it's in the past now."

"Ashley…"

"Spencer…"

"I want to kiss you so badly…" I said before I could comprehend what I actually said.

"There's nothing stopping you."

I leaned in forwarded and captured Ashley's lips.

**Song- They Don't Know About Us (One Direction)**

**Sorry you're probably wondering why I chose a One Direction song. It probably one of the only ones that I like and it kind of related to this story. The covers of this song are really good...if you find the right one. Thanks for reading. Next update soon. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, here's the next chapter! I hope that you enjoyed the last one and I hope that the story only gets better with time. Let me know what you think of this chapter! Thanks for reading. **

I felt Spencer push me up against my bedroom door. Her lips were attack mine, and I felt amazing. My hand finally found the handle, which sent us tumbling onto the floor. Spencer landed on top of me and we burst into fits of giggles. I think that alcohol had already taken effect. Spencer's arm found their way under my shirt. I let out a moan as her finger raked down my stomach. I lifted both of us and carried us towards the bed.

Before I realized it, Spencer was straddling me. She placed gentle kiss down my neck. Not that I don't have a problem having sex, I've had sex before, plenty of times with Madison. But this was different. I wanted my first time with Spencer to be special, not drunken fools.

"Spencer…" I said pulling her up to face me, "I-I can't."

Her moods seem to suddenly change, she removed herself from the place around my waist. She cheeks were bright red.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking," she said a little taken aback, because I faintly recall saying that there was nothing stopping her.

"Spencer, I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want our first time to be like this. I want it to be special. And we haven't really established what we are."

"Ashley I have feelings for you, not just friend feelings. I liked you the first time that I talked to you," she said turning to face me.

"You're the first person since Madison who has made my heart skip a beat. You the first person who has helped me move on, and I can't be more grateful. I was too blind to see the feelings that I had developed over you, but now they're crystal clear. Spencer…I'm falling for you," I said laying one hand on Spencer's. Spencer's hand cupped my face before kissing my lips.

Spencer rested her head on my arm and curled up under the covers. A short while she breathing had evened out and she was quietly sleeping. I smiled knowing that Spencer was next to me.

_"__You did good Ashley," _I heard Madison say.

"Thanks Mads," I whispered to myself before I let sleep take me away.

I felt the warmth of the sun on my face. I had a pulsing headache from the night before. I turned over a noticed that there was someone sleeping on my arm. I shot up, before I noticed that it was only Spencer. I smiled at the memories from last night.

"Spencer," I said shaking her gently out of her sleep, "Spencer wake up, you have to be at UCLA in an hour."

"Ten more minutes," she mumbled into the pillow. I let out a soft laugh before lying back down next to her. She was beautiful; her hair seems to lie perfectly on her shoulders, while mine was probably a curled mess. Ten minute I shook her again; thankfully this time she tried to get up.

"Spencer you have to get up," I said, leaning down and giving her a quick kiss. Her eyes shot open.

"Are you going to get up now?" I asked before I received a pillow in the face. I heard Spencer giggling as I removed the pillow.

"You're in so much trouble," I said tickling her around her stomach. She burst out into the fits of laughter. Spencer jerked under me trying to get away from me. I guess she figure it out, because soon I was the one being tickled. I was eventually able to grab Spencer's arms and pin them above her head. Her face a red and her breathing was staggered; it was such a turn on. Spencer lifted herself up connecting our lips together. It was a long passionate kiss; Spencer's arms wrapped around my neck pulling me downwards. I left my hands explore under her shirt, grazing my hands across her toned stomach.

"Will you get up now?" I asked jokingly. She playfully slapped my arm before pushing me off of her.

"You're such a moment spoiler," she said getting up and heading towards the bathroom. I let myself fall back onto the bed, smiling to myself.

Spencer was ready in ten minutes. The drive to the train station was quiet, but Spencer's want was on mine the whole time. I dropped Spencer off at the that the station entrance.

"So I guess call me when you're done," I said as Spencer leaned through the window, "maybe after we can go catch some waves."

"Like a date?"

"A date is dinner and a movie…consider this offering that might lead to a date."

"Whatever you say Ash," she said before walking into the station.

**Spencer's POV **

The ride over to the UCLA campus was only about twenty minutes. I'm glad that Ashley woke up because; I definitely wouldn't have made it. I check in at the front desk and was led to where the rest of the tour group was. The tour didn't take that long, but let's say that I would rather go to the east coast. One of the guides introduced us to the head of the Athletic Department…that was an interesting experience.

A few hours later and the tour was over, thank the lord. I hate touring colleges. I still had about an hour to kill before the next bus came. I stopped by a nice looking café on campus.

"Spencer," I heard someone call out my name. I wiped around to see who it was. Aiden was standing in line a few people behind me.

"Aiden, hey," I said moving to join him, "what are you doing?"

"I go here," he said, "I'm finishing up my summer classes. What are you doing here?"

"My mother…"

"Ahhh, the college touring," he said completing my thought, "my mother was like that."

We ordered out food and found a table outside to sit and eat.

"So how are you liking California so far?"

"I love it here, especially the weather."

"I can imagine; Ohio has unpredictable weather," he said taking a bite of his sandwich, "so how did you and Ashley meet?"

"Lacrosse and she's my neighbor."

"Interesting…are you sure that is all?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have any other feelings towards her?"

"Um…well I do…um, I care about her a lot," I said nervously.

"I see the way you look at her and the way that she looks at you. To be honest, it's the first time I have seen her look happy since Madison. But now I have to be that good friend. If you break her heart in any way, I will kick your ass." I nodded my head. "Good! So are you doing anything later?"

"Um I don't know. I was sort of waiting for Ashley to come up with something. She said something about a cove and catching some waves." Aiden eyes lit up.

"It's a beautiful place, make sure Ashley take you before you leave."

"I'll make sure I do," I said packing up my things, "Aiden, can I ask you something?"

"That depends, what do you want to ask me?"

"How did Madison die? Ashley told me a little, but…"

"They were hit by a drunk driver, and were pushed into the path of a semi. The semi hit them, and they spun off the road, rolling. Ashley had a punctured lung from the steering wheel, and Madison was on the side that the semi hit. Madison had severe cranial bleed and skull fractures. I knew that she wasn't going to ever wake up again, but my parents were holding onto every hope. They blamed Ashley and wouldn't let her see Madison, until they got the news that she was brain-dead. They wouldn't let her attend the funeral, and then Ashley just left, moved to Ohio."

"What about your parents?"

"They eventually realized that it wasn't Ashley's fault, but by then it was too late and she was gone. She was one of the only ones that reminded them of Madison."

"Do you think that maybe I could visit Madison," I asked hesitantly.

"Of course, I think that she would want to meet you," Aiden said writing something on a piece of paper. I glanced down at it and noticed that he had written an address and a plot number.

I talked with Aiden for a little while longer before I had to leave and catch the train by to Ashley's. I sent Ashley a quick take saying that I was on the train back. She responded with a little smile and a heat emoji. When I got off at my stop, Ashley was leaning against she car looking at something on her phone. When she saw me coming her eyes lit up and the stuff on her phone had become unimportant.

"Hey," she said opening the car door for me, " how's the college touring going."

"Shoot me now, I'd rather used close my eyes and which ever one my finger lands on, I'll go there." I heard she let out a soft chuckle before closing the door and getting in on the driver's side. It was a quick drive back the house. Ashley talked a little about what she did while I was at UCLA.

"So do you have anything planned for tonight?"

"Well I was hoping that you would want to learn how to surf and then maybe dinner and a movie?"

"So, now you're asking me on a date?'

"Spencer Carlin, will you do me the honor of going out on a date with me?" I gave her a cheesy smile before giving her a passionate kiss.

"Of course I would love to."

When we got back Ashley sent me to my room to change into a swimsuit, and grab a spare change of clothes. I quickly changed and headed back downstairs. Ashley was rummage for a few things in the garage. There were board and a bag resting against her Jeep. A few minutes later Ashley reappeared with another similar looking back and a board. She was wearing running shorts and a tank top; I could see the faint outline of her bikini. She placed the boards and bags into the back seat of her Jeep before getting in. We fell into simply conversation on the drive over. I was a little confused when we pulled over the side of the road. She got out of the Jeep and grabbed the boards and bags.

"I hope you don't mind a small walk," she said handing me a board.

"Not at all," I said grabbing the board and following Ashley into the woods. There was a man-made trail leading into the woods; I'm assuming that Ashley made it. The walk was longer than I thought that it would be. Ashley looked back to check on me, every time she did I would try to not look exhausted, but then when she turned away I would go back to my huffing and puffing. The board just got heavier and heavier, just when I thought I was going to pass out the forest began to thin. The pathway opened up to a cove. There was a small beach with incredible waves.

"Ashley…this is beautiful," I breathed out.

"I thought that you would like it," she said shoving her board into the sand and setting down her bag.

"How did you find this place?"

"Aiden and I found it one day when we were surfing the coastlines," she said unzipping her bag. She pulled out a wet suit and began to put it on over her bikini. She motioned me to do the same by pointing the bag that she handed me earlier. I managed to get the suit on without any trouble. It was a little tight, probably one of Ashley's older ones. We grabbed our boards and headed out towards the water.

She taught the basics and had me paddle then stand up. We practiced that for a good hour before she let me try to catch a wave. I watched her and she paddled towards the wave. She was so graceful with her movements. Her arms pushed herself off the board and her long lean legs let her control the wave, it was amazing. When she paddled back to me and told it was my turn I knew that I was going to make a fool out of myself. I paddled towards the wave just as Ashley had done, and positioned myself. I felt the wave come up from under my board pushing me forward.

"Stand up!" I heard Ashley yell. She was moving her hands up telling me to stand up.

I pushed myself up on the board. It was less stable than I thought that it was going to be. I was losing my balance from left to right, but somehow I managed to stay on the board, probably because I was waving my arms around like an idiot trying to stay balanced. Right at the end of the wave, I lost it. I plunged into the water and I felt a tug on my leg where the board was attached. I swam back up and broke through the water. The board was a few feet away from me. I swam over to it and got back on. Ashley was paddling towards me.

"Are you okay?" she asked coming up next to me.

"I'm great!" I said happily looking at the wave that I have just surfed, "that was amazing."

"You looked good out there…well except the graceful fall that you took," she said. For that she received a face full of water. She turned and gave me a playful serious look before launching herself at me. We fell backwards into the water. It was shallow enough that the water went up to our waists.

We finally pulled ourselves out of the water a few hours later. I had managed to get somewhat better at surfing. I made it through two waves without falling, but most of the time I was watching Ashley actual surf a wave. She was an amazing surfer, and I got to see her get some airtime, which was awesome. I will never be able to do that.

"Hungry?" she asked drying her hair with a towel?

"I'm starving," I said putting my hair into a messy bun.

"I hope you can wait an hour," she said pointing to the trail. I forgot that we had walked here. I gave her a small pout before grabbing my things and following her. It was a quicker wall back because most of it was downhill. Within the hour we were back at the car. We changed into different clothes. I had to wear the wetsuit back, because it was too tight to take off.

We drove to the large town over for dinner. Ashley let me choose where I wanted to eat. Honestly there were so many choices; I had Ashley spin me around and whichever restaurant my finger landed on we were eating there. It landed on a small seafood diner. We sat down and had a quiet dinner, considering both of us were too hungry to carry a conversation until our stomachs stopped grumbling.

"So what do you want to do next," Ashley said walking next to me.

"Anything," I replied.

"There's a wharf a little ways down. We could just have a relaxed night," she suggested.

"That sounds great." We headed towards the wharf. It was a nice night out. The sun had just begun to set. Ashley's hand was entangled in mine as we walked down the boardwalk. Lights lit up the wharf. We found a place by the end of the wharf to relax.

"I had a great day," I said turning to Ashley. She had her back against the railing and was looking up at the sky, as if she was trying to say something.

"I had a great day too Spencer. One of the best day I've had in a while."


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guy! Next Chapter's here! Let me know what you think! I did a Spencer-Madison met up, let me know how that works out...I might put another scene like that in if you guys like it. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 13: Spencer's POV**

I rolled over in bed and found Ashley lying fast asleep next to me. She was exhausted from yesterday. We went and surfed the waves again, this time I think I actually might have surfed, and then Aiden invited us over for dinner. It was nice getting to meet Madison's family, but it felt a little awkward. They welcomed me with open arms, but still, it felt like Madison was still there.

I hauled myself out of bed. I found a clean change of clothes in my suitcase, before heading downstairs. Raife was at the kitchen table drinking coffee as he read the newspaper.

"Morning Spencer," he said looking up from his newspaper, "coffee?"

"That would be great," I said taking a seat next to him as he went to go fix up some more coffee.

"Is Ashley still sleeping?"

"Yeah," I responded.

"Good, she was in need of a long sleep," he said returning to his seat.

"Raife can I ask you something?" I said reaching for the paper that Aiden had given me.

"I was wondering if maybe…I could see Madison before I left?" A gently smile appeared on his face as he put down his newspaper and gave me his full attention.

"Ashley means a lot to me, and I know that Madison also meant a lot to Ashley. I don't want…"

"Spencer…it's okay…I understand. You want to reconcile with Madison, get to learn her, talk to her, make sure that she's okay…and whatnot." I nodded. I was a little surprised that he was this understanding, but then again he was Ashley's father.

"Here," he said handing me a pair of car keys, "there should be a GPS in the car."

"Thank you," I said taking the keys from him.

"You know the first time Ashley introduced me to you, I knew you were special."

The drive to the cemetery was only about twenty minutes. I parked the car in an open row, before making my way up and down the columns. Madison's tombstone was regular sized, just like the others surrounding it.

"Madison Duarte. Those we love don't go away. They walk besides us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near. Still loved, still missed and very dear," I read to myself. I ran my fingers along the cold black stone. I did something that I thought that I would never do. I sat down in front of Madison's grave.

"Hey Madison, it's Spencer. Spencer Carlin, you probably don't know me," I said to the tombstone.

_"__Spencer Carlin," _I heard someone say, _"I've been waiting to meet you." _I turned around trying to figure out if I had actually just heard that.

_"__No Spencer, you're not going crazy," _the voice, said, _"You can hear me. It's Madison."_

I glanced around, that's when my eyes landed on the top of the tombstone. Sitting on top of the black stone, was a smaller looking girl with dark skin. She was smiling back at me. I recognized her immediately from the pictures; it was Madison.

"How?" I asked with my mouth handing open.

_"__This is where I am. I can talk to whoever I want to, even you," _she said. I couldn't find words to respond; I was still shocked by the fact that I was talking to a dead person.

_"__So you're Spencer Carlin," _she said.

"Yes, yes I am," I said straightening up.

_"__Tell me about yourself."_

"Well I'm 17, almost 18. I play lacrosse for the King High Knights. I have two older brothers. Clay who's the lacrosse coach at King, and Glen who's in the Marines. What else is there to know?"

_"__Ashley's told me a lot about you."_

"Like what," I asked praying that there weren't any embarrassing stories.

_"__About how much she cares about you, and that you're the first person that she's had feeling for since me."_

"I'm sorry."

_"__What are you sorry for?"_

"For getting in between you two. I know that Ashley meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to Ashley. I feel like I've cut into the middle of it. I don't want to ruin anything that you and Ashley have."

_"__Spencer, you have nothing to be sorry for," _she said hopping off the tombstone and sitting down next to me, _"Feelings are feelings, everyone has them. Yes, I care about her very much, but there's nothing more that I can do, except look over her. That's the only physical connection that we have left. Spencer, don't hide what you feel for Ashley. You two have more special, meaningful. Nothing like I have ever meet before. Don't squander it. Ashley loves you very much and you love her too. That's all you need."_

"Madison, you're just like Ashley said you were, a kind, compassionate, understanding young woman. I'm sorry that I never got to know you," I said getting up.

_"__When I first heard Ashley talking about you, I knew that you were special. Promise me one thing, take care of her."_

"I promise."

_"__I'll see you around Spencer Carlin," _Madison said getting up from the ground and walking back toward the tombstone, _"remember what I told you." _

I watched as her hand reached out to touch the stone, and then she was gone. I stood there staring at the tombstone of Madison Duarte, thinking of the conversation that I may or may not have just had. I stood there for a few more minutes before turning and heading back towards the car. I pondered what Madison had told me on the drive back to Ashley's. Madison's words were swimming in my brain as I parked the car.

I walked back into the house. It smelled like pancakes and bacon. I walked into the kitchen where Raife was flipping pancakes. I placed the keys next to him thanking him for letting me use the car.

"How was it?" he asked pocketing the keys.

"Incredible," I responded.

"Did she talk to you?"

"How did you know?"

"I've watched Ashley a lot. I always thought that she was talking to herself, until she told me. I figured if you went to see Madison she'd probably want to talk with you."

"Yeah, I did talk to her."

"I'm glad you got to talk to her. I'm sure Ashley appreciates that you did. Speaking of Ashley, could you go upstairs and see if she's up. Breakfast is almost ready."

I made my way up to Ashley's room, when I opened the door I noticed that she was still in bed. Her small figured curled up under the sheets. Sitting down on the side of the bed, I gently shook the sleeping Ashley awake.

"Spencer?" she asked dreary, rubbing her eyes, "how long have you been up?"

"A while."

"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked sitting up.

"I figured you could use the sleep, and I didn't want to annoy you with my early rising," I said, "and your dad said breakfast is ready."

"Okay, let me just find some clothes," she said getting out of bed. She threw a sweatshirt over her sports bra and shorts over her spandex. I followed her downstairs. Raife had set the table and the pancakes and bacon were placed neatly next to each other. We all quickly sat down and devoured our meals.

"So, if you two want to get packed, I'll take you to the airport in hour," Raife said looking at his watch. We both nodded and headed upstairs to our respected rooms. I quickly hopped into the shower before packing.

I managed to find all my clothes and neatly pack them into my sports bag. I took one last glance at the room before opening the door. Ashley was just closing her door. She was carrying her sport bag and suitcase, along with her lacrosse stick. We loaded everything into Raife's car. I was going to miss it here. It was so nice, so peaceful. I was a little sad to be heading back to Ohio, probably because I knew that I was going to meet my mother, then it would all go "what colleges are you looking at", "Spencer this is serious", or "you're not going to get into college like that." I sighed before hopping into the car. Ashley sat in the front with her father. I respect that; she doesn't get to see him that much so every minute counts. The drive over the airport was pleasant, with few simple conversations.

About an hour later Raife pulled into the airport parking garage. Ashley and I grabbed our belongings and started heading towards the terminal entrance. We set our bags down my security, due to the fact that Raife could not continue with us. Ashley pulled her father into the a tight hug, while saying her 'goodbyes'. I let them have a minute. I wish my dad and I were as close as Ashley and her father. When they had finished saying their goodbyes Raife looked at me.

"Spencer," he said beckoning me forward, "I know that you didn't get to come to the studio and look around. So I got you a little something." He handed me a white bag, but told me to wait until I was on the plane, if I didn't like it, I could give it to a random stranger.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you," I said, before he pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks for making my little girl happy," he said. We pulled apart, only to pull back for a "family" hug. I was really going to miss him. I hope he moves to Ohio.

"You two be safe, call me when you land," he said as we walked towards security.

We pasted through security and boarded the airplane. Ashley was a few rows up from where I was. I took my time to open the present that Raife had given to me. Inside there was a shirt that had a record on it and the words "Davies Records" written in gold on it. There was a CD that read "Ashley's Songs." There was a picture of a younger Ashley. Inside there was a note:

"Spencer I hope that you like this. I know that Ashley would kill me if she found out that I gave this too. This has all the songs that Ashley has ever written and recorded. I thought that you might like it, and you probably have more used for it than I do. Thanks for looking after my girl. I hope to see you soon. Raife"

I smiled at the CD. This I was never going to get rid of. There was one more thing in the bag, a medium size teddy bear wearing a "Davies Record" shirt. I laughed a little too loudly because people's heads started to turn. I quickly put the things back into the bag and stuck it in the overhead compartment.

I flight back to Ohio was smooth, with only one layover. I slept most of the time, but neither of the flights were Ashley and I sitting together. We arrived at home around one in the morning. As soon as we arrived at the baggage claim, Ashley was attacked by a little monster that clung to her leg.

"Hey buddy," she said pulling Sid off her leg and picking him up. I think he was almost at the stage where being carried around was going to be impossible.

"Ashwly I missed you," he said burying his head in her neck.

"I missed you too buddy," she said hugging him.

Ashley's mother and I grabbed our bags as Ashley carried Sid out to the car. Ashley sat in the back with Sid sleeping sweetly in her lap. A little while Ashley fell asleep. Christine pulled up into her driveway. Ashley woke up just as we were pulling in. She handed Sid off to her mother who carried him into the house.

"Thanks for coming to visit," Ashley said handing me my bags.

"Thanks for giving me one of the best weeks of my life."

Ashley gave me a shy peak on the lips before saying goodbye. I watched as she retreated into her house.

I entered my house and headed up to my room. I rummaged through my desk and found my notebook. Flipping to the blank page, I wrote one sentence.

_After this amazing week, I've fallen in love with the one and only Ashley Davies._


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey Guys this is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy! please let me know what you think, whether it be negative or positive I would love to hear it! Thanks for reading. **

"Ashwly…" I heard someone say, "Ashwly…" I thought it was a dream at first until I felt a large human sized figure jump on my leg.

"Ashley wake up," I heard my mother's voice from the end of my bed. I groaned and uncovered my head with the pillow. Sid was spawled out on my legs, while my mother was standing at the foot of my bed with her hands on her hips.

"What?" I asked grumpy as I sat up and pulled the covers off.

"I need you to take Sid back to school shopping," she said still with her hands on her hips.

"Why can't you?" I asked.

"Because I have to be at work in twenty minutes," she said before turning and walking out the door. Sid was still lying across my legs.

"It's okay Ashwly, take you're time, I'm in no wush," he said before hopping off the bed and heading downstairs.

I forced myself to get out of bed. The shower helped calm my angered mood from this morning. I didn't mind at all taking Sid to get school stuff; I just didn't like to be woken up after getting back at two in the morning. I quickly put on a clean change of clothes before heading downstairs. Sid was sitting on the couch watching the Sunday cartoons. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and joined him. He was watching some show that I had never seen before. It was about some kid with this green watch thing that allowed him to turn into all different 'monsters'.

After I finished my breakfast, I bustled Sid into the car. I let him choose where he wanted to get his stuff, and of course he chose Staples. We walked into the store to find that it was relatively empty. Most people by now had probably gotten their school supplies. Sid grabbed one of the kid's carts and began to pursue the aisles. My mother had given me her credit card to pay for both our school supplies. I grabbed a few notebooks, pens, and pencils. Sid managed to fill his cart up after he had gone through one aisle. I glanced down at his school list and I was surprised to see that everything that was in his cart was on the list. What a responsible little child, I would have grabbed anything that caught my eye. I let Sid wander off to grab the rest of his things.

"Ashley?" I heard someone say my name. I turned around to a familiar face.

"Emily, hi," I said. About a few seconds later Sid appeared with Noah at his side. I guess Emily had to take Noah back to school shopping too.

"How are you? How was your summer?"

"It's was good, I spent most of it in California with my dad and then All-Stars. What about you?"

"Oh same old same old, family beach trip for a week," she said shrugging her shoulders.

"Ashwly can Noah come to lwnch with us?" Sid asked tugging at my shirt to get my attention. I glance at Emily and then back at Noah.

"If you're not busy, would you like to join us?" I offered. A smile appeared on Emily's face as she nodded. We watched as Sid and Noah jumped up and down, then run off in some unknown direction. We both managed to corral to kids into Emily's car, because Sid refused to ride with me if Noah didn't come. I followed Emily's car as the children decided with restaurant they wanted to eat at. They eventually decided on Five Guys.

We quickly ordered and found an empty table near the windows. Sid and Noah immediately each took a window seat, leaving Emily and I stuck on the outside. They went off into their own little world of conversations of some action figures, I think. Emily and I kept our ears alert waiting to hear our number being called.

"So you're lacrosse co-captains with Spencer this year right?" Emily asked taking a bite of a fry.

"So I'm told. You still planning on playing this fall?" I asked.

"Nah, I only play in the spring. I swim in the fall," she replied.

"Swimming, I bet your amazing."

"Actually, I'm planning on committing to UNC this fall for swimming," she said happily.

"That's awesome. I'm actually committing to somewhere too, but I haven't figured out where," I said. Her eyes lit up a bit. We continued our conversation about college commitments and swimming. It was actually nice to catch up with her. Turns out she's been swimming most of her life, and she's the reigning state champion since freshman year. Of course people would want her.

We decided that it was time to leave when Sid and Noah started to fall asleep where they sat. We said our goodbyes before carrying our sleeping brothers to the cars. Sid eventually woke up as we pulled into the driveway. Both of us managed to carry all the bags in without having to make a second trip. When I went back outside I noticed Spencer was sitting on her back porch reading a book. I quickly closed the back door and crept over to her. I wrapped my arms around her and she jumped.

"Don't you look cute reading a book," I said giving her a kiss on the cheek. I could hear her heart racing from the scare.

"Ashley…you suck," she said laughing as she reached down and picked up her book. She moved over on the bench allowing me enough room to sleep. I took a seat next to her and she swung her legs across mine.

"Sleep well?" she asked. Obviously by the bags under my eyes, she could tell that I didn't sleep well. I could tell that she got more sleep than me because she generally seemed more awake, but that could be that I still hadn't had my morning coffee, and it was afternoon.

"Like a baby, I only had a mother and a little brother come barging into my room at six o'clock this morning. What about you?"

"Probably not much better. Clay got me up earlier this morning so that I could practice working on my shot."

"Sounds like fun," I said drawing shapes on Spencer's calf with my fingers.

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing that I know of, why?"

"Well there's this pride parade tomorrow in the city and I was wondering if maybe you would want to go with me?"

"Will there be food involved in this?" I asked.

"As much as you want," she said with a smile.

"Then I'm totally in," I said. Spencer leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

We sat and talked for about an hour, until Sid came out looking for me. When Sid came around the Carlin's house he happened to catch up midway through a make out session. He, of course, started giggling and saying 'yes I knew it'. We were at first a little confused, until Sid explained that he knew all along that we were going to 'hook up' or something. He then went on to tell Spencer all about his summer without me. She was such an amazing person; she listened so intently to Sid's stories like she was actually interested and commented when right.

"Ashley, I'm hungry," he said.

"Bud, we just had lunch like an hour ago," I said lifting Sid onto my lap.

"I know, but I hungry again," he said patting his stomach.

"Okay hungry bunny, let's go home and get you something to eat," I said getting up.

"Can Spencer come?" he asked looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

"I don't know, you'll have to ask her," I said turning to Spencer. Sid turned to face Spencer, who was gave him her full attention again.

"Spencer, will you come over and eat?" he asked her. She smiled and pretended to think about it for a minute before responding.

"Of course I would," she said getting up. Sid jumped off the porch with glee and ran back to the house. I laughed before grabbing Spencer's hand and following Sid back to the house.

I made Sid a PB&J sandwich, and sat him and Spencer down in front of the TV, where Sid showed Spencer his favorite TV shows. I went back into the kitchen and sliced up some fruits and vegetables for the both of us. I took a seat next to Spencer on the couch. We watched Sid's show for about the first fifteen minutes before we got bored and both make up some random excuse to leave.

A few minutes later, after excusing myself, I heard Spencer open the door to my bedroom.

"Ashley?" she asked looking around.

"Out here," I said poking my head through the window. She walked out onto the deck, and looked over the wooden railing.

"Come here," I said motioning to join me on the hammock. She carefully lay down next to me. We swung there for a while; just enjoy the view and each other's company.

"So this pride parade, should I wear anything in particular?" I asked running my fingers through Spencer's hair.

"Anything prideful," she said. Well that's a lot to go on. Spencer and I lay there for what felt like an eternity. It felt so good to hold her in my arms; it made me feel wanted, needed.

"Ashley?" I heard a knocking at my door. It startled both of us and we quickly jumped off the hammock and composed ourselves. I hopped through the window and answered the door. I opened the door to find my mother standing on the stairs.

"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked letting her into my room. Spencer tried to occupy herself by pulling out some card and spreading them on the floor,

"I got off work early, and Sid said that you and friend had gone upstairs." She said looking over at Spencer, who was now sitting on the floor shuffling some cards.

"Yeah, this is Spencer, remember?" I said introducing her to my mother again.

"Oh yes, I remember. It's good to see you again," she said.

"It's nice to see you Mrs. Davies," Spencer said getting up and walking over to my mother, "I should get going," I was sad to see Spencer go, but I get it. If Spencer's parents happened to barge in on us I would find the quickest excuse to leave.

"I'll call you about tomorrow," she said before leaving. We heard Sid from downstairs giving Spencer and big goodbye.

"So just a friend, huh?" she asked looking at me more intently.

"Mom, stop," I said trying to avoid the question, but my mother already knew the answer to her own question.

"Ashley, just be careful, okay?" she said before pulling me into a hug.

"I will mom," I said before pulling away. I watched my mother retreat back down the stairs. I went back out onto the deck. Spencer was sitting at her desk writing in her notebook like she always did every evening. I picked up my phone and sent her a text.

**Me: you look even more adorable when you're writing 3**

I watch Spencer from my deck as she picked up the phone. She read the text message and smiled before looking up. I waved at her. She got up and opened her window and leaned out.

"You know we've only be apart for like ten minutes and you already miss me," she said cutely.

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for love," I replied. Spencer tried to hide her giggle of laughter.

"So, I'll come get you tomorrow at eight?"

"I'll be waiting," I said leaning over the railing. I faintly heard someone call her name in the background. She turned around and called back saying that she would be down in a minute.

"I guess, I'll see you tomorrow," she said. I nodded. Lame I know I was too absorbed in Spencer.

"I still want to know what you writing about every evening," I said before she left.

"If your lucky," she said before disappearing back into her room.

I fell back onto the hammock and reminisced about the week that Spencer and I spent together. It was one of the best weekends that I have ever had. Before I left, my dad had told me that Spencer had gone to visit Madison's grave, which made what to love her more. It's the thought that counts. I also noticed that my dad gave her an extremely large gift bag. There was a shirt and a stuff bear inside, but I couldn't see what the last thing was, and at the moment it's killing me. Not that I don't care what my dad got her, I just fear that he gave her something extremely embarrassing that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. For example my dad for Mother's Day gave a picture to his mother of me running down the aisles of his office not wearing any clothing, granted I was little and cute and all, but I wasn't wearing anything. Every time I used to visit her she would tell me the story of it, and every time I want to say 'grandma I know that story because that's me in the picture'. She's lucky that I'm a good grandchild.

My mother called me down for dinner. It was a quick family dinner, because both Sid and I had something to eat before dinner. By nine o'clock I had retired to my room. I began to search through my drawers for something to wear tomorrow. I found my khaki shorts and Sperry's. The bottom was covered. I rummaged through a few more drawers until I found the shirt I was looking for. It was a pink and white tank top that Madison had gotten me when we went to a pride rally. On the front it said, 'love is love' and then on the back there was a list of hash tags that Madison had personally added. Some of them get creative after a while.

I laid out the rest of my clothes before brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed. When I returned to my room, Sid was sitting in the middle of the bed with a smile on his face.

"Hey Sid," I said taking a sit next to him.

"Ashley," he said happily, "so how was home? Did you have a good time?"

"I did. For the first time since the accident I talked to Madison's parents. It felt amazing, like this huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. Aiden was back from college. We caught some pretty sick waves that you wouldn't believe. Next time your coming out too."

"What about Spencer?" he asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"What about Spencer?"

"Come on Ashwly, I'm almost seven, I think I know what's going on," he said staring at me.

"What do you think is happening?" I asked, who knows maybe he knows even more that I do.

"I think that you've fallen for Spencer, and that Spencer has fallen for you. Not to mention when you two left for the summer you were still friends. Then I caught you kissing and well that clears up the story. She's helped you learn to love again," he said. The last thing that he said really struck me. For a six-year-old that was pretty deep.

"You're absolutely right," I said giving him a warm smile. I let hi crawl up into my lap.

"You look happy Ash," he whispered, "even happier than when you were with Madison."

"I'm happy because Spencer went to Madison's grave, and Madison approves of Spencer. I'm happy Sid. For the first time in my life I feel like there is nothing holding me back; I'm free."


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys next chapter's up! tell me what you think. **

**Chapter 15 (Spencer's POV)**

My alarm clock rang throughout my room, waking me rudely from my sleep. I groaned and slammed my hand down on the "Off" button before rolling back over. I was about to drift back to sleep when I realized why I had set my alarm. My eyes shot open and I hurdled out of bed. I quickly shower, changed, and shoved down some breakfast. I stopped half way up the stairs when I noticed the bag that Raife had given me sitting on the top of the stairs. I brought it to my roof and took the bear and shirt out. Ashley's CD was lying at the bottom. I ran my fingers over the written words, "Ashley's Music". I grabbed my laptop and loaded the CD in. It loaded, and then started to play. I heard the sweet strumming of the guitar, and then Ashley's sweet angelic voice.

_To My Love Madison_

_Alright__  
__Yeah it's been a bumpy road__  
__Roller coasters__  
__High and low__  
__Fill the tank and drive the car__  
__Pedal fast, pedal hard__  
__You wont have to go that far__You wanna give up cuz its dark__  
__We're really not that far apart__  
__So let your heart, sweet heart__  
__Be your compass when your lost__  
__And you should follow it where ever it may go__  
__When it's all said and done__  
__You can walk instead of run__  
__Cuz no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh__  
__Never be alone oh oh__Forgot directions on your way__  
__Don't close your eyes don't be afraid__  
__We might be crazy late at night I can't wait til you arrive__  
__Follow stars you'll be alright__You wanna give up cuz its dark__  
__We're really not that far apart__  
__So let your heart, sweet heart__  
__Be your compass when your lost__  
__And you should follow it where ever it may go__  
__When its all said and done__  
__You can walk instead of run__  
__Cuz no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh__  
__Never be alone oh oh__  
__You wanna give up cuz its dark__  
__We're really not that far apart__  
__So let your heart, sweet heart__  
__Be your compass when your lost__  
__And you should follow it where ever it may go__  
__When its all said and done__  
__You can walk instead of run__  
__Cuz no matter what you'll never be alone (never be alone) oh oh__  
__Never be alone oh oh__When its all said and done__  
__You can walk instead of run__  
__Cuz no matter what you'll never be alone_

_(Lady Antebellum Compass)_

_Next one is for you dad, your favorite song_

_I woke up this morning and the sun was gone _

_Turned on some music to start my day_

_I lost myself in a familiar son _

_I closed my eyes and I slipped away_

_It's more than a feeling _

_More than a feeling _

_When I hear that old song they used to play_

_More than a feeling_

_And I begin dreaming _

_More than a feeling _

_'Til I see Mary Ann walk away_

_I see my Mary Ann walkin' away_

_So many people have come and gone _

_Their faces fade as the years go by_

_Yet I still recall as I wander on _

_As clear as the sun in the summer sky_

_It's more than a feeling_

_More than a feeling _

_When I hear that old song they used to play _

_More than a feeling _

_And I begin dreaming_

_More than a feeling _

_'__Til I see Mary Ann walk away_

_I see my Mary Ann walkin' away_

_When Im tired and thinking cold _

_I hide in my music, forget the day _

_And dream of a girl I used to know _

_I closed my eyes and she slipped away _

_She slipped away_

_It's more than a feeling _

_More than a feeling _

_When I hear that old song they used to play _

_More than a feeling_

_And I begin dreaming_

_More than a feeling_

_'Til I see Mary Ann walk away_

I sat there still memorized my Ashley's talent. I wanted to listen to the rest of the CD, but I was already running a little late. I took the CD and hid it under my bed, incase my mother decided to snoop again. I rushed back down the stairs and headed towards my car. I dropped my bags in the back before walking over to Ashley's front door. Knocking on the door, I was greeted by Christine. She gave me a warm smile and welcomed me into the house. She called Ashley's name up the stairs; I could hear Ashley's faint response of 'one minute.' Christine and I sat in awkward silence for a few minutes until Ashley emerged from the stairs. She looked amazing for a parade. Her pink and white 'love is love' shirt brought out her tan skin and the chocolate color of her eyes. Her hair was put into a French braid running along the side.

"You ready?" I asked trying not to stare too much. She nodded and we began to walk out towards the car. We said goodbye to Christine before pulling out the driveway.

The ride over there was quiet; we shared a few laughs before Ashley fell asleep. It was nice to be able to glance over at her and admire her beautiful sleeping form. I turned on the radio to the country channel you have something to do while Ashley slept. For some reason colleges popped into my head, I remember the conversation that my mother gave me yesterday quiet clearly. My mother, of course, is probably one of the cheapest people I know. As soon as she heard the USNA accepted my offer that was the school that she set her heart on. But to be honestly, I really don't want to go there, but in reality I will end up going there. I knew that Ashley was most likely going to go to UNC. Now to be completely honest, UNC also offered me a scholarship to play for them, but since it's not free, my mother won't let me go. I already tried to work my way around the money issue, but I was shut down. Not that I don't want to be with Ashley for the next four years, but I also would be in debt for the rest of my life. The only problem if I go into the USNA, is I have to serve my time after, wherever I am placed, and knowing me I'll get placed in the Marines.

"You know you shouldn't think that hard. It makes the veins pop out on your forehead; its kind of gross," I heard Ashley say from the passenger sit. I felt my cheek burning and I tried my make my veins less noticeable.

"What's making you think so hard" If I may ask," she said turning to face me.

"Nothing really, just my mother I guess." I replied. Ashley nodded her head before returning to face the road.

"Is it about colleges?" she asked without looking at me. I raised my eyebrows, how did she know?

"Yeah…"

"Don't worry I'm sure everything will sort itself out, remember you have the last say in where you go."

"I think that applies to everyone, except me."

We pulled up into the train-parking garage. It was nearly impossible to find a parking spot. We were able to catch the next train into the city where the parade was being held. The train was also much packed. Ashley and I were so close to each other I think I could have lost it.

"Have you been to this before?" Ashley asked as we got off the train.

"I use to come here every year with Glen, but this is the first time in a while that I've gone. What about you, have you ever been to one of these?"

"Yeah, back in California they also had a huge one. Madison took me one time."

"Well I think that you'll meet a lot of cool people," I said walking down the street towards the crowd of people. Once we reached the crowd of people I sent out a text to a few of my friends that I met here a couple of years ago. Ashley followed me to where we were meeting my friends.

**Ashley's POV**

"Chad," I heard Spencer yell. She was walking towards tall hair boy, with a Justin Bieber type hairstyle.

"Spencer, you just keep getting more beautiful every time I see you," he said. His voice was higher than most men. He was wearing tight pink shorts and a white tight tank top.

"Spencer," another girl said pulling her into a hug.

"Alexis it's so good to see you," Spencer responded.

"Who's this?" Chad asked motioning in my direction.

"Oh this is Ashley. Ashley this is Chad and Alexis," Spencer said introducing me to them. They were extremely welcoming. I think they have become my new best friends.

We walked down the street as we watch people go by. Alexis used her fake license to get us a few drinks.

"So Ashley, are you and Spencer together?" Chad asked. Spencer's eyes darted towards mine as she waited for me to answer. I glanced over at her. I know that we are dating, but Spencer has been avoid saying that we are in case were not. It's a little confusing. I know that she is waiting for my approval before we tell anyone that we are dating.

"We are together," I said putting my arm around Spencer's waist and pulling her close to me.

"For how long?" I heard Alexis ask Spencer.

"About six months," she said confidently. I was a little thrown by six months, but then I realized that four months ago was the first time that we had kissed. I felt a smile curl onto my lips as I remembered the kiss in all its awkwardness and pain.

"Aw you guys are just so cute together," Chad said happily jumping a little.

"So can I officially call you my girlfriend?" Spencer asked as we waited in line for food.

"I'd like that a lot," I said capturing Spencer's lips. When I kiss Spencer, it's like I'm in a whole different world. I don't think of Madison anymore when I'm with Spencer, but I always know that she'll be here when I need her. Right now, it's just Spencer and I.

We spent the rest of the day screaming, shouting, laughing until we cry, eating, hanging out with Chad and Alexis. It was a pretty good way to end the summer. Around nine o'clock the parade began to die down and we decided that it would be a good time to leave. We said our goodbyes to Chad and Alexis. I exchanged my info with them and told them to come see us if they're free. We made out way back to the train station. It wasn't packed; in fact it was mostly empty. Spencer rested her head on my shoulder and looped our arms together once we took a seat on the train.

"Spencer let me drive," I said stopping her from opening the door.

"It's okay Ashley, I'm fine," she said leaning against the car. I gently grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to me. I leaned in and gave her a light kiss on the lips.

"Spencer, you're exhausted. Let me do this for you," I said giving her another kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in closer, deepening the kiss.

"Okay, " she said handing me the keys.

"You're amazing Ashley," Spencer said intertwining our fingers. I pulled out hands up and kissed the front of her hand.

The drive home was amazing. Spencer never let go of my hand, even after she fell asleep. I replayed the events of today over and over in my head, and every time I get to the part where Spencer asked me if I was her girlfriend, I always found myself smiling. Spencer is my girlfriend.

_"__I proud of you Ashley," Madison said. _

"I couldn't have done it without you."

We pulled up into Spencer's driveway about an hour later. The house was empty, and all the cars were gone.

"Spencer, wake up," I said shaking her shoulder gently. She stirred up refused to get up. I got out of the car and opened Spencer's door. I lift Spencer out of the car carefully and carried her up to the door. When I went to open the door, I found that it was locked.

"Spencer key?" I asked. She mumbled some like, 'in my bag'. I carefully leaned her against me and found the key in one of her pockets.

I carried Spencer up the stair and found her room a few doors down. I gently laid her in the bed. I pulled the covers over her and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Ashley," I heard Spencer say as I was about to leave, "Don't leave."

"I'm right here," I said returning to Spencer's bed.

"Don't leave," she repeated.

"I won't," I said lying down next to Spencer. She wrapped her arms around my waist and nestled her head in the crook of my neck.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello readers! Sorry its been a while, but here is the next chapter, I hope you all enjoy, tell me what you think.**

I felt something stir next to me. My eyes shot open and I turned to see who was next to me. I relaxed when I noticed that my blonde beauty lying next to me. Spencer was still fast asleep. My eyes scanned around the room, they stopped when I noticed the notebook that Spencer always writes in laying in her desk. I was so tempted to get up and go read the book, but I pushed my impulses away. Spencer stirred next to me, before opening her eyes. Her blue ocean eyes were so soothing to look at.

"Morning," she said snuggling into me, "you didn't leave."

"I would never leave," I said wrapping an arm around Spencer.

We laid there for what felt like forever. I wish that it had been forever. It felt perfect being able to hold her and lie down next to her. To love and be loved is something that I haven't felt in a while.

"We should probably get ready for school," Spencer said slowly getting up. I groaned, because one I didn't want her to get up and two I didn't want to go to school. I glanced over at her clock. It was six o'clock in the morning. I reluctantly pulled myself out of her bed and grabbed my things.

"So I guess I'll see you at school," I said heading towards the door.

"And practice," she said before giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

I walked out of the Carlin's and headed towards mine. Thank god my mom was doing an all night shift or else she would have interrogated me asking me why I didn't come home. Sid was still sleeping when I walked upstairs. At least I don't have to drive him in the mornings; he gets to take the nice gross bus.

I quickly hopped into the shower and washed myself down. I changed into a new pair of clothes and gather my lacrosse equipment before heading downstairs. Sid was in the living room watching his usually TV shows.

"Hey Ashley," he said from the coach. I stopped; he actually said my name without messing it up. My little brother is growing up.

"Hey Sid," I replied going into the kitchen and getting some breakfast.

"Why didn't you come home last night?" he asked coming in to the kitchen.

"I stayed at Spencer's. I forgot my keys and I didn't want to wake up the house, plus I was exhausted," I lied as I poured some cereal.

"Oh you do know that we hide a key under the floor mat," he said. Damn I was busted.

"Yeah…" I said stuffing my mouth with cereal.

"It's okay Ashley I won't tell mom. You're secret is safe with me," he said proudly before heading back to the couch.

"Thanks bud," I replied a little confused, "Your bus is coming in an hour okay?"

"Yup. I'm all good Ash," he sad waving me away.

"Okay, I'll see you later," I said grabbing my bags and walking out to the car. Spencer's car was already gone. Damn I don't understand how that girl is so speedy.

I parked my car next to Spencer. I dropped my bags off in the locker room before heading to home room to get my schedule. My teacher was an elderly woman, nice but also annoying. She's always up in your business about everything. She politely handed me my schedule and then she wanted to hear all about my summer. I was spared by the stories when Emily came through the door and saved me.

"Hey Ashley," she said grabbing her schedule quickly from the teacher.

"Hey," I replied looking over my schedule. We compared our schedules. Only English Lit. and Calculus.

The bell rang that signaled the end of home room. Emily and I quickly made our way across the quad to English Lit. Thankfully we sat next to each other and found that we would have these seats until we graduated. It was a really boring class. The teacher had a monotone voice and no expression. He handed out the books we were going to be reading then made up read them for the rest of the period. I had to next period free so I decided to grab my stick and take some shots at a net to familiarize myself with the sport. That is probably how I'm going to spend every second period until I graduate. Third block was a blur of history, who cares, it's already in the past what is there to learn. Fourth Lunch. Fifth AP Physics. Sixth Calculus. Seven. Music.

My dad convinced me to sigh up for music class my senior year. Actually I lost a bet against him so I had to. I hadn't written a song in a while, well I half wrote one for Spencer, but I scraped it because it was awful. I actually really enjoyed the class. The teacher was super into music and when she found out that I was Raife Davies's daughter she literally lost it. Well at least I know that I won't be failing music class anytime soon.

After the last bell rang I made my way down to the locker rooms. I ran into Emily on her way to the swim locker and promised her that I would go to one of her meets. During the fall, as Spencer informed me, the team is a lot smaller, because of the other fall sports going on. So the fall is a relaxed season, not a ton of stress. We practice three times a week and there are no tryouts, since we barely have enough players.

Spencer was sitting in front of her box tying her show laces. She looked good with a button down shirt and sports shorts and cleats on.

"Hey," she said buttoning her shirt.

"Hey." I reached for my things and began to change. Clay came in a few minutes later after knocking as asking if everyone was decent.

"Good afternoon ladies. It's great to see you all here today. If you're new to the team, welcome and if you are returning, it's great you've come back for another amazing season. I'd like to introduce your co-captains, Spencer and Ashley," he said pointing over at us, "they are both extremely dedicated players and I want you to give them your full coöperation. They are extremely nice, don't feel shy." A few of the returning members laughed. You could tell who was new and who was returning. Anyone who was returning had their box with their name on it, while the new people had their stuff on the floor.

"Alright, what do you say we get out and play some lacrosse," Clay said. There was a small cheer as we gathered our things and headed out to the fields. I stopped when I noticed that Carmen's box was empty and that she names had been stripped from the nameplate.

"Hey coach, what happened to Carmen?"

"Carmen. After what happened last spring, we had her removed from the team. So, her parent moved her to a more prestigious a few towns over. They are one of the few schools that we play this fall, so I want you to be carefully, alright?"

"I will coach," I said running off to join Spencer and the rest o the team.

When Spencer said that the fall season was really relaxed, she meant it was really relaxed. We ran a mile around the field, did some small drills, and the scrimmaged. That in itself only took us about an hour and a half. After that coach called the end of practice.

"Hey," Spencer said running up to me while I picked up the cone.

"Hey."

"I was wondering if you wanted to stay a little longer and practice?"

"I'd love to," I said dropping the cones into the bag.

I grabbed my stick and the bag of lacrosse balls that Coach had given to us to put away.

"So how was your first day?"

"Eh, still got 180 of them left, couldn't get anymore exciting than it already is," I said tossing the ball in the air.

"True. I got that Lit teacher that thinks everything that is happening is the world is somehow related to the books were reading or something. I think she might be a little mental."

"Hey at least you don't have the teacher that has a monotone voice and no facial expressions."

"Yikes, I don't think that I could look at that for the rest of the year."

We practiced for about another hour, until we called it quits. Clay was still in his office, so we dropped the bags off before heading out.

"So, are you doing anything tonight?" I asked leaning up against Spencer's car.

"Probably listen to my mother lecture me, do some of the insane amount of homework, and maybe spend the evening with my amazing girlfriend." I smiled before we pulled me down by the shirt and gave me a gentle kiss. I kept my eyes closed and savored the taste of her lips that remained on mine. I heard her chuckle, which brought me back to reality.

"Well if you find some time for that amazing girlfriend of yours, just let me know," I said pushing myself off the driver's side door.

"I'll be sure to do that," she said starting her engine. I watched as she drove away, before getting into my car and following her home.

My mother's car was in the driveway, which was odd because she usually always works late on Mondays. I grabbed my bags and made my way into the house. The living room was empty, but the TV was on.

"Hello?" I asked setting down my bag and heading towards the kitchen.

"Ashley!" Sid said running into my, "Mom Ashley's home."

"What's going on?" I asked curiously, as I walked into the kitchen.

My mother had something hidden behind her back and there was a letter sitting on the kitchen table. I noticed the logo on the letter and my eyes widened. My mother motioned for me to sit down at the table. I took and seat and Sid grabbed the chair next to me. I carefully opened the letter, and began to read.

_Dear Ashley,_

_Congratulations on your recent achievements in lacrosse. The Athletic Department at the University of North Carolina would like to offer you a full-ride sports scholarship to play for the UNC Tarheels next fall. We hope that you will consider our offer. _

_Yours truly,_

_Michael Hart_

_Head of the Athletic Department at the UNC Chapel Hill_

I finished reading, and set down the paper. My mother pulled out a small cake from behind her back.

"Congratulations sweetie," she said giving me a hug.

"Are you surprise?" Sid asked.

"I am," I said ruffling his hair.

"I'm going to college!" I said jumping up in the air and doing a little happy dance. Luckily no one else was there to see my 'happy dance' or else they might think that I have some serious problems. I'm going to the one college that I have always dreamed up, playing for my favorite team, and it's all free. This day couldn't get any better. I grabbed the phone and called my dad to let him know the news.

I took the letter up to my room and hung it next to a picture of Madison. We had both planned to attend UNC and play for the Tarheels.

"We did it Mads," I said looking at Madison's picture. A feeling of accomplished washed over me. I did it for me; I did it for Madison. I went out onto my deck and glanced over towards Spencer's room. She was sitting at her desk skimming through, what I'm assuming is a textbook, and taking notes. She was flipping through the pages at rapid speed; maybe she's trying to hurry so that she can spend some time with that amazing girlfriend of hers.

I sat down at my desk and pulled out my schoolwork from my bag. I skimmed through the pages that we had to read for English Lit, and bullshitted my way through the questions. Calculus was easy, just answer the question, nothing hard, I hope. I stopped when I got to my homework for music class. 'Write a short song' was written in my planner. I sat there for a while looking at my music notebook, before I starting jotting down notes and some words.

_There's no way to say this song's about someone else__  
__Every time you're not in my arms I start to lose myself__  
__Someone please pass me my shades, don't let them see me down__  
__You have taken over my days so tonight I'm going out__  
__I'm feeling like there is no better place than right by your side__  
__I had a little taste now I'm always for the party anywhere__  
__Cause all the girls are looking fine but you're the only one in my mind_

I grabbed my guitar and started to strum. The words seemed to flow a lot better than I had planned. I changed a few notes, before playing again. There was a knock on my door, but I must not have heard it because they knocked harder.

"Come in; it's open," I said making the last touches to my short song. Sid came sauntering into the room.

"You know you should have let dad sign you," he said running his fingers over the strings.

"I know, but the music industry is something I would rather avoid. I don't feel like opening my life to everyone out there, plus is they don't like my music then what," I said setting the guitar down.

"Was that song you wrote about Spencer?" he asked grabbing my sheet music.

"Sid, would you stop asking me if everything is about Spencer," I said playfully grabbing the papers out of his hands.

"You should write something for me. I think that she would really like it," he said.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said putting my things away.

"Speaking of Spencer, she's outside sitting on the porch talking to mom," Sid said before leaving. Suddenly I became aware of everything, Spencer's outside, and my mom's talking to Spencer. I ran down the stairs, past Sid who was laughing as I made a fool of myself in attempt to get down the stairs as fast a possible. I opened the door and found my mother and Spencer sharing a laugh.

"Oh Ashley, there you are," my mother said getting up, "I'll give you two some space."

"It was nice to see you again Spencer."

"It was nice to see you too Mrs. C," Spencer said getting up.

"Hey Ashley," she said.

"How long have you been here?"

"Only a few minutes and no worries, no embarrassing stories were told," she reassured me. I let out a sigh of relief.

Thankfully my mother left for her night shift a short while after, and she tucked Sid into bed before she left. We said goodbye and made our way out to the pool. We took a seat along the end of the pool and dipped our legs in.

"So did you hear about Carmen?" I asked swirling my feet in the water.

"Yeah, she came over to say goodbye before she left," Spencer said looking at the water, "she told me to tell you that she was sorry for what went down."

"So she just moved?"

"Well when her parents found out that she was banned from sports at King, they were furious and tried to appeal the decision. Apparently there was huge argument that went down; at least that's what Clay said. So they moved her to a different a school a few towns over where she could 'shine'."

"Oh…"

"I'm still saying my apologies for what happened, what I did was awful. Every time I look back at it, I just want to slap myself in the face."

"It's alright Spencer. We all make mistakes sometimes. That's what makes us perfect, because we are flawed. That's why I like you, because you recognize your flaws and change because of them."

"I like you because you are the most amazing person, always supporting me when I can't. You care about every small thing that happens. You're always there for me, and that is what I love about you Ashley. Which is why I'm going to give you surprise," she said with a devious smile.

I felt her hand running along my back, before her hand pushed me forward. I plunged forward into the water. I came up spitting water everywhere.

"What the hell?" I asked wiping the water out of my eyes.

"That's for making me hike a mountain at three in the morning," she said.

"Fare enough," I said making my easy. I remember that day when I shook Spencer from her sleep because I couldn't sleep. So I decided to make her go hike a mountain at three in the morning. Spencer was not the happiest person I had seen that day. When Spencer doesn't get her sleep, it's not a good sight.

"Wanna help me out?" I asked reaching for Spencer's hand. She shook her head.

"Come on Spence; I'm sore, and this is the deep end." She finally reached her hand out and grabbed mine and pulled me up. I was almost out the water, when I pulled Spencer hand towards me, making us fall back into the water. Spencer resurfaced cough and spitting water. She stared daggers at me.

"What can I say, payback's a bitch Spencer," I said. She launched herself at me and grabbed me around the waist. I spun us around and grabbed Spencer's face, before planting a wet kiss on Spencer's lips. All of a sudden all the frustration in Spencer was gone. She relaxed her grip around my waist and moved her hands up my body. I pulled Spencer close to me to deepen the kiss. Every inch of her mouth felt amazing.

"I know that you two like making out and all, but if you could keep it down I'm try to sleep. Thanks you," Sid shouted from his window.

We immediately broke apart to see Sid staring out his window. He made a 'sshh' motion with his hand before disappearing back into his room. Spencer's cheek had turned a bright red, and my heart was still coming down from its high.

"Maybe we should get out of these wet clothes," I suggested looking down at my soaked clothing. Spencer nodded still trying to hide her flushed cheeks.

I pulled Spencer up the stairs towards my room, away from Sid. The minute I closed the door, Spencer had pushed me up against the wall and was attacking my lips. I tired to contain the moans that wanted to slip, but I couldn't. I felt Spencer hand lift the hem of my shirt before pulling it over my head. I felt her hands rake my stomach. I managed to find the buttons of Spencer's shirt, and start unbuttoning it. Spencer reconnected our lips and pulled us towards my bed. I pushed Spencer's shirt off her shoulders. Now I've seen Spencer plenty of times without a shirt on in the locker room, but for some reason this felt different, more intimate.

I ran my hand down Spencer's arm and then up her stomach. I pulled us down towards the bed, where Spencer toppled on top of me. My hands slowly reached for the buttons on her shorts. The minute I got one of the buttons undone Spencer pulled away.

"Ashley, I'm sorry," she said laughing in frustration.

"What's wrong Spencer?" I asked worried.

"I can't, I'm sorry," she said hiding her facial expression from me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you," I said sitting up to meet Spencer.

"Not it's not you, I shouldn't have let it get this far. I'm sorry," she said again.

"It won't happen again," I said getting up and putting my shirt back on. I was a little bummed about the cold shower Spencer had just given me.

"No Ashley, that's not what I mean. I want it to happen, I really do, but I want it to at the right moment. I want it to be special," she said pulling me back down to the bed.

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" I asked. She nodded her head.

"Ashley, what you and I have is special. And when it happens, which it will, I want it to be something memorable and special," she said holding my hand.

"It will be," I whispered into her ear, "I'd wait for you forever."


End file.
